South Park: At the School Season 1
by Pikamonproductions
Summary: We have always been following the many misadventures of Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny, along with the other guys. But what about the girls? Let's tell the small adventures that happen in the background, where the camera isn't showing! This is the girl's story and nothing else... and I fuck that up by bringing in an OC... (Post-Season 21 and throughout Season 22)
1. Prologue

Note: This story takes place right after season 21. There are going to be spoilers.

Well that was a season, wasn't it? Cartman turned a nice girl into himself because of his awful behavior. Good thing she realized her mistake and got better.

But… There are so many loose ends, right? As Season 22 showed us, Matt and Parker are not gonna resolve these plot points. It looks like we fanfiction writers have to fix it.

(Read "My Super Best Friend" By Lord Candycane. It gives great resolutions to all plot lines from Season 21)

There… all loose ends are finally tied up… right?

Lighting effect happens, and we're cut to a kid very cloaked by a grey cloak. The kid is sitting on a bus to South Park. The eyes are visible, angry… the Kid pulls up a picture and says

"Soon…" it's a he "I'm coming for you… Theresa"


	2. The Rival(Fixed)

SP: ATS Episode 1

The Rival

Written by: Pikamon Productions

A bus stop at the familiar buss stop. A kid in a light grey cloak walks out. The buss goes away as the kid look at the view of the quiet little mountain town. The kid pulls up a picture of someone, he looks at it angrily. He puts it back and walks to the town…

At Skeeter's Bar. The kid walks in and hops up at a bar table chair.

"Aren't you a little young to be here?" Skeeter, the bar's owner, asked.

"Yes, yes I am" The kid, sounding like a boy, picked up a dollar and said "I'll just take a glass of water." Skeeter took the dollar and fetch a beer glass of water. The kid drank abit before he pulled up the picture. It's a picture of a girl with black hair. She wears a light orange long-sleeve shirt, a blue vest, and a dark green skirt. She also has green hair ties, which ties up two puffy pigtails.

"Have you seen this girl?" The kid asked. Skeeter looked closer and said

"Not really, though if she lives here in South Park, she should be at School right now. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be in school too?"

"I just got here" The boy drank up all water in one go and left the table.

"So why are you looking for that girl exactly? An old friend or reunion?". The boy stop. He was silent for a moment until he answered

"Revenge…" he walked out of the bar…

At South Park Elementary. The school bell rings signalizing for Recess. Hundreds of school children ran out to enjoy their only hour of school that isn't school stuff. Many were playing by the monkey bars, the slide, somewhere talking to each other about the newest fashion or sports.

On the other side of the School's stone wall, the cloaked figure pushes a small box to the wall. He uses it to climb up the wall and sees the entire schoolyard. He looks around to find Theresa, but to no avail… there are too many laud kids. The kid pulls up a megaphone from his back and turns it on. Then he pulls up a microphone and turns it on a maximum sound. He puts it in front of the megaphone speaker. A very extremely loud screech echoes through the schoolyard, as everyone stops what they're doing to cover their ears. Everyone is shouting in pain. The kids stop and throws away both the microphone and the megaphone.

Every single kid looks after where the sound came from and looks a the cloaked kid. They all look pissed.

"EY!" Cartman shouted,"What's the big idea?" The kid puts his arms into his hood and pulls out earplugs and throws them away

"Now that I have everyone's attention!" He started, as he walked at the wall with his hands behind him "I have traveled far and wide to find a person, and all my sources have to lead me to this, mountain town!" He points down dramatically at the ground.

"And why should we help you, you crazy lunatic?!" Shouted Bebe angrily.

"Shut up, I'm still talking, stupid blonde!" The kid answered, shocking Babe to that answer.

"Ha-ha! Take that, Bebe!" Cartman taunted her

"Shut up you too, Fatty" The kid pointed at Cartman

"Ey! I'm not fat! I'm big-boned!"

"Keep living in your delusional life, then! Everyone quite!" He then looked at everyone with a serious face

"I am looking for…" The camera moves into the cloaked face "Theresa Johnson!" Everyone gasps

"So you do know her, eh? Good, I'm not leaving until you bring her to me!"

"I'm coming!" A girl's voice shouted in the crowd. The kid turned around for dramatic effect. He started to monologue

"Theresa Johnson. I've been waiting for this moment! This time…" He turned around and pointed dramatically at Theresa "I'm gonna win!" An awkward silence goes for a while at the playground. The girl just staring at the cloaked boy… until she finally says:

"Do I know you?" The kid looked at Theresa, confused

"You… you don't know who I am?"

"Kinda hard to see with that cloak!" The kid sighed and grabbed the right side of his cloak. "Alright… Then here's a hint!" He dramatically threw away it, everyone in the school yard reacted with… confusion…

"A fucking cosplayer?" Craig said, standing next to Tweek. The boy has brushy-spiked orange hair with a viridian headband embroidered with two rings on the right side. He wears blue jeans, a yellow t-shirt, and a sleeveless brown cargo vest. He also wears a pair of earrings in the shape of washers. On his forehead is a yellow "M" and small strips on his cheeks. Around his neck was a neckless with a small rectangular picture frame holder that's closed. He opened his eyes, looking serious with his blue eyes…

Theresa gasped at the sight of the boy.

"Micheal Hogan?" She asked confused

"So, you do remember me! That's flattering"

"Why are you here, Micheal? Have you moved to South Park?" She asked

"No, I've gone far and wide to find you! I still live in New Jersey"

_"Shit! Another Ginger from Jersey… the deal is sealed if he's jewish!" _Cartman thought paranoid as he looked carefully at Kyle _"When they band, it's over…"_

"Do your parents know you're here?" Theresa asked concerned

"No, I got them arrested" Micheal answered quickly. Theresa got frighted

"What?"

"Yeah, I told the authorities that my parents were molesting me AND they were drug dealers. That gave me the freedom to do what ever I want!" He span around with his arms up in the air"

"Just to find me? Why were you looking for me?" Micheal grinned as he put his right hand behind him, he opened his back pocket and grabbed something in it.

"Oh… I'm glad you asked…". Everyone in the backyard started to get frightened, what was in that cosplayer's pocket? Is it a gun? Crow dramatically pulled up his hand and shouted

"THERESA JOHNSON! I CHALLENGE YOU… TO A YUGIOH DUEL!" Revealing he was holding a deck of cards! Everyone… was not expecting this…

"That's it?" Theresa asked, somewhat pissed

"What?" Micheal asked back, confused

"You had your parents arrested, then went miles away from your home city to find me, just to have a Yu-Gi-Oh duel with me?"

"Um… yeah?"

"Are you STILL pissed that I beat you like 20 duels?"

"99! I counted! And YES! I want a rematch, now pick up your deck and let's duel!"

"I don't have it!"

"What?"

"I stoped playing 2 years ago! It got too confusing and competitive!

"Oh come on! What's so complicated with putting cards on a table with unlimited usage of spells!? Where's your deck!"

"My deck is proberly mixed together with everything else I have!" Micheal jumped down and walked closer to Seka, he put up his pointy finger and said

"Fine, then I'll give you till next day's recess. You better be here then!" He turned around and picked up the cloak and put it on

"This isn't over, Theresa!"

As everyone went back to their schoolyard activates. Theresa went to a bench and crossed her arms on the table and put her head on her them, sighing deeply. Wendy, Bebe, Heidi and Red arrived

"Sooooo… who was that exactly?" Wendy asked. Theresa looked up. She was quiet until he explained

"Micheal "Crow" Hogan…" Flashback to a 1st Grade Class in New Jersey.

—

(Flashback)

"I and my family use to live in Rhode Island, but we decided to move about. One of our stops were in New Jersey, very hard to find Tiny Homes there"

"So your family DO live in a trailer?" Heidi was heard. Theresa countered angerly

"It's NOT a TRAILER PARK! It's a TINY HOME! I've already told you this! My parents downsized to make a smaller footprint on the environment!

"Ok, ok! Sorry. Continue"

"Sigh… anyways, in 1st garde in a school in Jersey, I meet a very obsessive yugioh fan named Micheal Hogan, who wanted to be called Crow. He played a lot of Yugioh…"

_"If I control a Blackwing Monster, I can summon without tributing, Blackwing - Elpin the Raven!"_ A 7 years old Micheal shouted as he dramatically put down a Yugioh Card.

"It made him very arrogant, and he kept betting cards with his opponents, he didn't even use them right!" Crow is using someone "Raigeki" card as a tooth picker.

"So I decided to do something about it. I dueled him and won back every card he had won from others. But that made him pissed and he tried to beat me… again… again… and again… then when we moved away, I saw him behind the car looking at me…"

—

Cut back to the present day.

"We keeped moving until we stayed here, but now he's back, and I have to deal with his crap again"

"Well, then you know there's only one thing to do then," Red said

"What?"

"Make a deck again" Theresa looked down and said "Alright, I'll make a deck, and beat him again!"

Later that day… Theresa walks up to a big parking lot. A big sign where it's written "South Park Trailer Stop" Theresa walks past many different types of travel trailers until she stops at a "2009 FOREST RIVER FLAGSTAFF 831KRSS"

. ?id=pKqspA==

She opens the trailer door and finds that nobody seems to be home yet. She walks to the left and crawls under a twin bed and pulls out a small cardboard box. She blows away the dust and opens the box. It's full of Yu-Gi-Oh cards, all mixed up. She turns it to the side and all cards fall out. 2 cards that can be seen is "Blue-Eyes White Dragon" and "Red-Eyes Black Dragon", Theresa takes them up.

_"Gonna need you two" _She thought to herself, feeling nostalgic.

At Bebe's house.

Bebe walks to her house. She enters and to her shock and horror, Crow is there! And he's laughing with Mr. Steve.

"Dad!?" Bebe.

"Oh, hello Barbara" Mr. Steven greeted his daughter, calling her real name. "This is Micheal Hogan, he's a transfer student from New Jersey and he needed a place to stay, I just got to knew him and thought he could live here for awhile" Crow looked at the blonde.

"Sounds… great…" Bebe grinded her teeth. "Could I talk with Micheal in my room?"

"Well… Of course" Crow jumped off the couch and followed Bebe up to her room.

"Ok, why are you here?" Bebe demanded an answer

"Ok, So my plan was to duel Theresa, then call the cops that I lied, then go home. I don't have enough money to rent a motel room, so I thought I could live at someone here for the night" Crow told his entire plan

"But why MY house?"

"…It was the closet I could find" Bebe took a deep breath and sighed

"Fine, as long it's just for the night.

"Fine by me, Blonde Bimbo"

Music: The White Ghost(0:00-1:12) - Mobile Suit Victory Gundam

watch?v=0hecBFtWDWk

Later that night…

Theresa is in her bed, still picking cards.

We're then cut to Crow, who's looking up at the ceiling, he jumps off the couch and walks away to the kitchen.

Back to Theresa, she picks what seems to be her 40th card.

Crow comes back with a flaming candle in a candle holder. He puts it on the table and hops back on the couch. He pulls up his deck.

Theresa organizes her deck of cards to be straight and starts shuffling.

Crow is shuffling his deck. He then stops as he puts it on the table and draws five cards.

Theresa looks at her five cards. And puts on down in front of her. Both Theresa and Crow are practice dueling with their decks. Crow puts a card called "Black-Winged Dragon" on the field. He grins…

Music ends

The Next Day

At the School Yard. Theresa stands in front of a crowd of kids. Micheal jumps off the wall and walks to Her. He throws off the cloak and grabs the neckless, he opens the frame and kisses whatever it is he's framed in it. Theresa walks to crowd, as they move away to reveal a bench. She jumps up the seat Crow does the same to the other seat and both shuffles their decks until both dramatically put them down. They take five cards from their decks.

"Ok, duelist!" Red said, acting as the announcer.

"We're playing Late-5ds Era Format, the one starting is allowed to draw the sixth card, and since we don't have much time, we're having 4000 life points instead to the normal 8000

"Fine with me" Micheal smirked "It's how we duel back in the day" Red then pulls up a coin

"Head, or tails?" She asked

"Head" Theresa answered

"Then I take tails" Micheal agreed

Red flipped the coin into the air. When she caught it, she put it on her other arm, it's revealed to be tails.

"Micheal goes first"

"Alright, Theresa," Micheal said, having a huge grin "be prepared, this time… I will win! No one beats The Blackwing King, and gets away with it!" He drew his sixth card…

Many turns of drawing later…

Crow is laying in the snow, twitching. He lost

"Well, you lost" Theresa said unamused "You better go home". Crow stands up.

"You win this time, Theresa. But don't think it's over! I will come back and then I'll win!" He ran away to the side of the school and he shouted: "You'll see!" Every kid went back to their activates. Wendy, Bebe, Heidi and Red went to Theresa.

"Glad that's over" Wendy commented

"Yeah" agreed Theresa "Hopefully it'll be the last time we see off him…"

At Bebe's house at night. Bebe's in the kitchen but hears someone moving in the garage. She walks in and sees to her shock, Crow! He seems to have been building his own bed and is finished.

"Why the fuck are you doing here?" Bebe angrily asked. Crow looked at her. He was silent until he said

"I told the cops that I lied, but as it turns out, they did some investigation and as it turns out, my parents ARE drug dealers. They found a drug lab in the basement. I then told your dad what happened and he allowed me to live here, along with as I stay out of his "Man Cave", which I think he means his house. So I've decided to live in your garage" He then went into the bed and said "Good night" and blew out the candlelight.

At Theresa, she's sleeping peacefully, but her iPhone is buzzing. She opens her phone to see the message.

Phone Message

Bebe: Crow is still here.

Theresa: What?

Bebe: He's living in my garage.

Theresa: Why hasn't he left?

Bebe: Apparently, his parents WERE drug dealers and the cops found some stuff in the basement

Theresa: Shit… I guess I have to deal with him…


	3. School Shooting

School Shooting

By: PikamonProductions

South Park Elementary, the only place in South Park for learning. And it seems to be the end of the school hours, as hundreds of kids walk or run out from the School, happy that it's over. Walking hand in hand is Token Black and Nichole Daniels.

"So what is it about Cartman not believing you didn't watch Black Panther?" She asked her boyfriend

"Huh?" Token was confused

"He came to me and asked if you had watched Black Panther"

"Oh nothing, he just thinks I'm angry at him that he didn't like Black Panther"

"Why's that?"

"I let him copy my math test answer, then I changed mine back to the real ones.

"That's smart"

Walking out from the school, came Bebe Stevens, Wendy Testaburger, Red and Heidi Turner. Talking to each other. Next to Bebe was Micheal "Crow" Hogan, the new-moved in, how had his arms crossed and didn't look happy.

"So sleepover at your house on Saturday, Heidi?" Wendy asked

"Yeah! I got Ant-Man and the Wasp on Blu-Ray, it'd be a great movie for that night"

"Kick-Ass!" Red commented, before she could say anything more, she was interrupted by Crow

"This is bullcrap!" He said angrily. Everyone looked at him.

"What is?" Bebe asked. Crow explained "This is the 7th School Shooting, and nobody has caught the shooter yet, I can't concentrate when they shoot so god damn much" Bebe looked back at the girls, who looked at each other. She answered: "And this is my problem because?"

"Because we're roommates! We got to help each other out!"

"That's not how it works"

"Jersey Rules, bitch. Besides, aren't you annoyed by the shooter?"

"Not really, I've just gotten used to it"

"Yeah" "Same" "Uhuh" Answered Wendy, Heidi, and Red.

"Well fuck you all, I'm going to go and do something about this!" He walked off

"Jesus, is this what Theresa had to deal with in 1st grade?" Red asked annoyed.

"I don't wanna know" Wendy answered.

Nelly walked past them, holding something white.

"Hey Nelly, What are you holding?" Red asked. Nelly turned around and said: "Hey, girls" he showed what she was holding. It was a hall monitor sash.

"I've volunteered to as a hall monitor. I'm starting tomorrow"

"Oh my gosh" Bebe exclaimed excited

"We do need more female hall monitors" Wendy said happily

In Town

Micheal is walking to a set destination when suddenly Sharon angrily walks past him. He stops and turns around.

"What's up your ass?" He asked. Sharon stopped and turned around

"What did you just say?" She asked angrily. Crow put up his arms

"Wow, wow, easy! I just asked why you're angry"

"Oh, nothing, It seems I'm the only person in this town who's concerned about the safety for the children because of the school shooting!" Crow looked at her and said "Well, yeah, they're a big nuisance"

"… Nuisance?" Sharon was just confused by that comment

"And I'm gonna do something about it so I can study in peace!" Micheal keeps walking

"Even the children aren't scared? What is WRONG with everyone!"

Jimbo's Guns

Crow enters the shop

"Why hi, there!" Jimbo greeted the spiked hair kid "What can I do for you?"

"I need a gun, and I WON'T accept no as an answer!"

"Well ok!"

"CURSES! You ha-" Micheal needed to think what Jimbo just said "Wait? What?"

"Well ok! I'll help you get a gun"

"Just like that? I'm just a kid"

"So? This is Colorado! Even a newborn can get a gun!" Jimbo walked out of the counter as a confused Crow followed the hunter.

What follows is a montage parody of a fashion showcase, but with Crow trying out different guns. It goes for a while until he gets a WIST-94

"I'll take it"

A few minutes later

"Thank you for shopping at Jimbo's Guns"

"Mmmm Have a good day" Ned said

"May I ask why you wanted to buy a gun?". Micheal turned around and put the gun close to his head and said smugly "I'm going on a School Shooter Hunt!"

The next day, as the children walked into the school, the parents were setting up things. They were tying bouquets of roses at the stair fences, putting in tables with vases full of flowers and roses. Putting up silver sheets. Somewhere spreading rose pallets.

"What are they doing?" Theresa asked Isla

"I don't know, they were here before I came" the brunette answered

"It looks something romantic is going to happen"

Meanwhile, with Nelly, she has put on the hall monitor sash and gets an assault rifle from a cop. She loads it and walks, only to get up to Butters.

"Butters…" she said monotoned

"Nelly" he answered back, also monotoned. They walked past each other…

Later, at third-period recess. Gunshots can be heard. Suddenly, bullets start flying around, everyone gets scared and start running to find safety. Except for Crow, how slams his lower door, puts in an ammunition cartridge into his pistol, and loads.

"Let's hunt!" He shouted as he ran to the shooting.

30 minutes of gunfire later, Micheal jumps aside a corner and shouts "Drop Your Weapon!" At the same time as… Nelly! Crow notices the sash and lowers his weapon

"Oh, you're a hall monitor"

"Well, why are you having a gun?" Nelly asked angrily.

"I'm trying to get the shooter so I can study in peace!"

"And you're doing that now instead of doing this week's test?" Crow was about to answer but had to think for a moment. He slowly faces palmed himself

"Good. Dammit…" is all he could say "I forgot about the test… You mind if I tag along?"

"… sigh, fine" They started walking, to start up a conversation, Micheal asked

"So why did you decide to become a hall monitor?"

"Why you ask?"

"Nothing, I thought someone with anger issues shouldn't take a job that's about getting order and peace"

"That's the thing, I thought talking a small job that's meant for peace and order, I could stop my anger issues. I'm so pissed off at my parents nowadays, so if I need some distractions"

"Well that's not my problem"

"And you're making it VERY HARD to keep it cool" Suddenly, gun shoot can be heard. Both get to a corner. Crow looks back at her and nods. They both runs from the concern and starts shooting, Nelly stops when she sees who it is.

"Kal?" ( wiki/Kal)

Micheal stops and looks back at Nelly "What?" He asks.

The brunette in question was shooting at armed cops, she turned around and started shooting at the girl and the boy and screaming rage. Crow took shelter behind a locker but was hit in his right shoulder!

"Shit!" He shouted in pain. Nelly had taken shelter behind the other corner. Kat turned back and kept shooting the cops, still very angry.

Micheal held his shoulder as he ran towards the pissed of girl, tackling her down to the ground. He pulled up the gun.

"End of the line, fuck head!" He said and pulled the trigger

*Click*

No bullets came out. It's empty!

"Double-Shit" He said, as Kal swung her legs, making him fall down. She got up and pointed her rifle at him.

"As you said" she said smugly "End of the line, fuck head!" She half pulled the trigger, but where caught in a barrage of bullets, coming from in front of her. As she fell backward. Crow looked up, as he was laying down, and saw that Nelly had shot up the school shooter. She walked up to Micheal. She extended an arm, He stated away.

"I can get up my self" he said as he tried to bend up, only to grunt in pain

"Okay I need it"

Much later… As cops and medical people where everywhere, Crow's shoulder was wrapped up in bandages.

"There you go, kid" the doctor said as he slapped the shoulder

"Ow!" Micheal whined. The doctor walked away, as Crow said "Asshole". Nelly was standing next to him. As crow stood up he quietly said

"Thanks…"

"What?" Nelly asked

"I said thanks, for saving me there"

"Well, you might have done the same thing" he put her had on his other shoulder.

"Well that's a surprise," someone said, it was Theresa who walked up to them, followed by Bebe. "You actually got along with someone, I'm impressed" Crow looked insulted

"What? You're my babysitter now?" He asked pissed as he stood up

"Well knowing you, I need to keep an eye so you don't repeat 1st grade"

"We're the same age, I can act like a normal person!"

"Yet you went out on a "School Shooter Hunt" today?" Bebe pointed out, making quotation marks with her fingers. Before Micheal could answer, Sharon shouting

"I'm not going through fucking menopause!" The kids looked at the group of adults who were standing around Sharon and Randy

"How'd you know?" Stephen Stotch, Butters' dad asked.

"I just got my period this morning!" Sharon shouted back angry. Everyone is quiet, Randy is shocked to hear that.

"You... you got your period?"

"YES!"

"You just got your period this morning?"

"YES!"

"Soooo the past few days, maybe you have been just a liiittle-"

"NO! NO NOTHING! Don't you guys see what's happened here?! I want you to be angry! Every day we hear about another school shooting! It used to be a big deal! I want it to be a big deal again. I mean Harriet, you came to my house and said there was a school shooting to trick me into going with you!"

"I was just trying to be a part of the big surprise, Sharon" Harriet Biggle, Henrietta's mom, answered.

"That's what I'm talking about! That's crazy, Harriet! I want you all to be shocked! I want you all to be sad!"

"You want everyone to be sad?" A random man asked

"Well. Sharon, if you wanted to make me sad, congratulations" Harriet's voice cracks a bit as she says "You did a great job" and walks away.

"Yeah, let's go somewhere without so much negativity" Stephen said as he and everyone else dispersed

"Aw guys, uh she didn't mean it! She just... get, give her a…" Randy can't say anything else, as he looks at Sharon, turns around and shuffles away, leaving Sharon just lost for words.

"Wow…" Crow said "She wasn't kidding, We almost died today, and they can think is that she is on her period? Is every adult in this town stupid?"

"Pretty much" Theresa answered. Crow looks at his gun as the camera closes into him.

"The town's children wouldn't mind if a few adults… vanished, would they?"

"Well last time we got rid of the adult, the entire town became a parody of Children of the Corn and Cartman ran the entire town.

"The fat one?"

"Yeah" Nelly answered. Micheal screeched his chin. And said

"On second thought, maybe we should have idiots"

End.

After Credits: A Hospital Visit

Stan is in a hospital bed, his right arm is covered in a cast. He sighs as he looks up to the roof. Someone knocks at the door and a doctor looks in

"Stanley, there's someone here who wants to see you. Stan gets a big smile, but it vanishes as Wendy comes in.

"Oh…" Is all he could say.

"Oh? Didn't expect me to show up?" Wendy asked

"I… were kinda excepting my parents to show up, I mean mostly mom as she was more concerned about my safety" Wendy hoped up a chair

"If you say so… be atleast happy you're alive"

"Yeah, I wouldn't be if it wasn't for Butters..."

they both were silent…

"So…" Stan started "You wanna… talk?"

"About what?"

"About… our relationship"


	4. A Red Tucker

A Red Tucker

By: Pikamonproductions

One lovely day, Red, the red-haired 4th grader, was on her way to the game shop. She was going there for her weekly meet up with card game players.

Red entered the shop and saw a long table with boys and girls playing card games already. She goes to Bebe who is having a match against Isla.

"Hi girls!" She created the blond and the brunette.

"Hi, Red!" Bebe and Isla said in unison. They were playing some kind of card game with small orange/yellow marbles.

"What's this?" Red asked.

"It's called Keyforge" Isla explained "It just came out! You're supposed to duel with an already build deck and try to build a key before the opponent"

"It's pretty fun!" Bebe exclaimed

"But it doesn't beat Hearthstones!" Isla exclaimed back

"You're just saying that just because you can field nuke with Deathwing!" The red-haired teased, as all giggled. As Bebe put down a card on the table, Red asked

"Have you guys seen Theresa?"

"Not really" Bebe answered "Another MTG duel?"

"Yeah, and I'm confided I'll win this time". Isla put down a card and said

"By the way, are you guys going to Clyde's birthday later today?"

"Can't" Bebe answered, as she put a card on the table "I got to help mom at the store"

"I heard Craig and Tweek are going, maybe I should go to support my cousin" Bebe raised an eye brown but gasped in realization

"Oh, I forgot! Craig is your cousin, right?"

"Yeah"

"Well It's still hard to believe you and him are related" Red looked at her blonde friend very blankly until she flipped up her finger. Just like Craig! The three girls burst out laughing, getting the attention of everyone else in the store, only to continue doing what they were doing. As the girls finally stopped laughing, Theresa came in.

"Hi girls!" She greeted them

"Hi, Theresa!" The girls greeted back. Red opened her backpack and took up a deck case. She opens it and took up her Magic the Gathering deck. Theresa did the same and both started shuffling their decks

"Ready for another beatdown?" Theresa asked cockily

"Not if I beat you down first!" Red answered back. Both put down their decks and drew five cards…

Kids Zone Roller Dink

Later that day, Red entered the gathering room, many guys were there, Isla was eating a pizza slice. Red saw Craig and Tweek, who were talking with each other. She smiled and walked to them.

"Hi, Creek!" She greeted them both

"Hi cous/Hi, Red" Craig and Tweek greeted respectively. In the past weeks, many have started to call both Craig and Tweek by their "ship name", Creek, every time they were together.

"So where's Clyde?"

"He followed some priest outside". Red gasped

"Oh no, you don't think he got kidnapped?"

"He probably did, this is Clyde we're talking about"

"Should we… do something?"

"This is South Park, it's going to be resolved in about a day or two" Red thought for a bit and shrugged her shoulders

"I guess so…" Kyle then walked up to them

"Hi Red" he greeted

"Hi Kyle" Red and Craig greeted.

"So why are you here?"

"Well, I wasn't going to go, but when I heard my cousin was going I thought "eh, why not""

"You're cousin?"

"Craig!" She said smiling, as she pointed to Craig. Kyle eyes went wide.

"Wait, wait, wait! Hold on" He then pointed at Craig

"Craig, is your cousin?!" He asked confused. Red looked back at Craig and asked blandly "So?"

"I… find it hard to believe you two are related" Red and Craig look at each other. Then they blankly looked at Kyle as both flipped the finger. Kyle just stared with his mouth open

Tweek spat out his drink and started to cough uncontrollably. Craig comforted his boyfriend

"You ok, Tweek?" He asked.

"I wasn't, COUGH, prepared for that!" As Tweek keeper coughing, Red leaned to Kyle and said "I wasn't prepared when they announced to me they officially dated" Kyle just raised his eyebrow.

End.


	5. A Problem With a Poo, Extended Edition

The Problem with a Poo, Extended Edition.

Main Episode By: Matt Stone and Trey Parker

Extra Scenes By: Pikamonproductions

(Warning: Spoilers from **"My Super Best Friend"** by Lord Candycane. The Main Episode scripted copied from South Park Archives)

South Park, day. The scene starts with South Park Elementary being shot up again, then the Community Center appears as two police cars rush by, then City Hall appears. The city council is in session, Mayor McDaniels presiding

Mayor McDaniels

People, it's time we faced some hard truths. The town is looking to us for answers, and all we keep doing is burying our heads. We need to cut the budget for this year's Christmas pageant.

Randy

[after a dramatic pause] My God...

Mayor McDaniels

I've asked the director of the holiday show to stop by so we can all give him the news.

Ryan

He's not going to take this well.

Councilwoman

If he doesn't, we should just let him go. God knows it's about time.

Mayor's aide

Hey, a lot of people like him, all right?

Mrs. Testaburger

Yeah, and a lot of people think he stinks.

Mayor McDaniels

Let's just get this over with. [presses down on the intercom key] All right, send him in. [the door opens and Mr. Hankey hops in.]

Mr. Hankey

Hooooowwwdy ho! You wanted to see me? Better hurry. We only have two months before Christmas.

Mayor McDaniels

Mr. Hankey, we called you in to let you know that... your Christmas Pageant funding has been cut. By half.

Mr. Hankey

What? But I can barely make a good Christmas show with what I have!

Mayor McDaniels

We just don't have the support for the Christmas show that we used to. The truth is... some people find you offensive.

Mr. Hankey

Offensive? What about me is offensive?

Councilwoman

Some people think shit isn't the best representation of Christmas.

Mr. Hankey

Yuh... you people can't do this. Christmas is the most magical time of the year.

Mayor McDaniels

The decision has already been made. Thank you, Mr. Hankey, and good luck with the show.

**The Next Day**

The Bus Stop

At the familiar bus stop, Wendy, Bebe and Red stood by the bus sign. Heidi came to them.

"So have you guys heard?" She asked.

"Heard what?" Wendy asked. The other girls looked at Heidi

"Mr. Hankey his holding a rehearsal to play for his Christmas Pageant right in the music room today. I heard Kyle was going there, so I've decided to go there to support him"

"You guys still haven't talk after the… um… Canada Video?" Red asked slowly.

(Note: Read "My Super Best Friend")

"Yeah, don't wanna rush in like I did last time"

"I heard that Stan and the other guys were going there too" Bebe then turned to Wendy "Speaking off which, how is it between you two"

"Well, we haven't really thought of it" Wendy answered, not mentioning her meeting up with Stan at the hospital. "Maybe I should come to support him. Showing I still care… I guess…"

South Park Elementary, day. Another school shooting has occurred and the police are back to investigate. In the music room, the kids practice "Deck The Halls". The conductor taps the dais with his baton - it's Mr. Hankey.

Mr. Hankey

Okay, stop. Kids, the song's called "Deck The Halls," not "Let's All Suck Balls." Mow, come on, kids.

Craig

Why do we have to do this now?

Cartman

Yeah, it's not even Halloween yet.

Mr. Hankey

Restoration Hardware put up their Christmas decorations two weeks ago, all right? Now listen: I didn't want this either. I wanted the Denver Symphony, but they cut my budget and I'm stuck with you. Now let's take it from the top! [taps his baton]

The hallways. PC Principal walks down the main hallway with purpose. He stops at the Vice Principal's office and turns left, steps forward, stops, sighs, then turns the doorknob and peeks in

PC Principal

Vice Principal Strong Woman?

Strong Woman

Yes, PC Principal?

PC Principal

I was seeing if there's anything you... might want to discuss with me?

Strong Woman

What would we need to discuss?!

PC Principal

I am- so sorry- that I took advantage of my position and- manipulated you into a physical encounter.

Strong Woman

Hey! I am a strong woman, all right?! I don't get manipulated! We both are guilty of an ill-advised relationship at the workplace, but that was long ago, and I have decided to move forward.

PC Principal

Are you sure we can move forward?

Strong Woman

Why not? We make a mistake, we move forward.

PC Principal

I was just thinking there might still possibly be some fallout from-

Strong Woman

Nope! We're just gonna forget about it and put it to rest.

PC Principal

You don't think there's anything else to dis- to discuss?

Strong Woman

No, I don't! Bye-bye. [PC Principal backs out and closes the door. Strong Woman lets out a sigh of relief, then stands and goes to a mirror, which reveals tears in her eyes and a big belly. She's pregnant.]

Kyle's house, day. Stan, Kenny, and Cartman are pounding on the front door. Kyle answers it but doesn't invite them in.

Stan

Dude, Kyle! Dude!

Cartman

Dude!

Kyle

What?

Stan

Did you read what Mr. Hankey tweeted last night?!

Kyle

What Mr. Hankey... tweeted?

Stan

Yeah. I guess after band rehearsals he went on Twitter to talk about us.

Cartman

Look! [Cartman takes out his phone and hands it to Kyle so Kyle can see for hiimself]

Kyle

Oh. Jesus Christ, dude.

Mr. Hankey's room. He's at a sewing machine making a Santa outfit.

Mr. Hankey

Santa Claus is on his way. He's loaded goodies on his sleigh.  
He'll drop them off on Christmas Day

Kyle

Mr. Hankey.

Mr. Hankey

Oh, Kyle! Hoowwwwdy ho!

Kyle

Mr. Hankey, everyone's really mad at you. Were you on Twitter last night?

Mr. Hankey

[slowly] Yeah.

Kyle

Did you tweet "The kids of South Park are retarded homos who can't play music"?

Mr. Hankey

[more slowly] Yeah.

Kyle

Why would you tweet that?! All the kids are really pissed off!

Mr. Hankey

It was a bad attempt at a joke. I'm sorry. Will you tell the kids I didn't mean it?

Kyle

What do you want me to say?

Mr. Hankey

The fact is, I couldn't sleep last night so I took some Ambien. Do you take that stuff? It turns your brain into oatmeal. Please, Kyle, tell the kids I didn't mean any harm. We've gotta focus on Christmas! [Kyle just looks at him]

At the Bus Stop

All four girls are there, waiting for the bus when Isla Forn and Jenny Simmons came.

"Hey, you guys were playing instruments in the music room yesterday?" Jenny asked

"Yeah, what about it?" Wendy answered. Isla pulled up her phone and said

"Well, you might want to look at what he said about you guys during band rehearsals".

Jenny gave her phone to Bebe, Red and Wendy to look at Mr. Hankey's tweet. Their faces turn to disgust upon looking at the tweet with Wendy in shock saying, "Oh my god!" with Bebe exclaiming, "That piece of shit!". Red punched the stop signs pole hard.

Wendy then turns her attention to Heidi saying, "Heidi, you have to see what Mr. Hankey said about us!"

Heidi got a very uncomfortable look. She hasn't been on twitter since the Skankhunt42 incident. A troll so notorious, she quit twitter and caused to girls to start a Gender War against the boys. That was over now, but still… she slowly grabbed the phone and read the thread. Heidi gasped in horror as she put on hand on her mouth, dropping the phone. The rest of the girls got concerned

"Are you okay?" Jenny asked.

"Uh... yeah, I'm alright" Heidi started, she then started to walk away to the houses.

"I just realized I forgot something back home. You go to school without me, I'll catch up with you guys later!" With that, she ran away. The girls looking at each other, concerned about their friend.

At Kyle's House.

Kyle Broflovski exited his house. He saw Heidi standing there. He walked up to her

"Hey, Kyle…" she started off awkwardly "Wanna… walk to school together?" Kyle shrugged his shoulders and walked away, followed by the flower hat girl. They said nothing as they walked to the school. Sooner or later, Kyle asked

"What is it you wanna talk about?"

"Wh- what do you mean?" She asked nervously. He turned around looking stern at her "It's been like months since our last encounter, and I don't think it has to do with the Canada Video. We already made up, so what is it you want to talk about?"

Heidi sighed in defeat and told "Mr. Hankey posted last night on Twitter 'The kids of South Park are retarded homos who can't play music'. I thought you should know that since you and him are very close."

I've talked to Mr. Hankey about it and he said that he was on Ambien and is not going to do it again."

Heidi then asks Kyle, "And you just believe what he said?"

"Yeah, and what of it?"

"It's just that people can say what you like to hear, but they don't really mean it. They don't just change overnight." Kyle then counter-argued with

"Oh! So does that mean you're still the fat version of Cartman who insulted my religion, got the entire school, even my Super Best Friend to bully me AND called my brother stupid!?" He breathed frustratingly, only to soften when he saw Heidi got scared.

"Sorry… Just… I've known Mr. Hankey a very long time, you don't need to be concerned" Kyle then walked away, School was on the other side of the road. Heidi stood there, not sure how to feel…

The school gymnasium, day. PC Principal and Strong Woman stand on the basketball court facing the student assembly.

PC Principal

All right, everyone, listen up. The vice principal has asked to speak with you today. She believes it is time that we all as a school finally discussed in-vitro fertilization.

Strong Woman

That's right, kids. Many women today make the choice to have children without a man in their lives. They can have their eggs fertilized by an unknown person's sperm in a lab.

PC Principal

That's right, Strong Woman. In today's society it is wrong to just assume that a pregnant woman had intercourse with a man.

Strong Woman

[doubles over in pain] Ooohhhhhhh!

PC Principal

St-students at this school need to be careful because it can be offensive to ask questions like "Who's the father?"

Strong Woman

[doubles over in pain] Oh! Ooohhhhhhh!

PC Principal

[looks at Strong Woman, then softly] You- you all right, Strong Woman?

Strong Woman

I'm fine!

PC Principal

So-so we'd like to have all our students talk to their parents tonight about in-vitro fertilization, and after that, let's just put the whole issue behind us. [Strong Woman stands up and fluid drops to the floor from her belly. Several seconds of stunned silence follows]

Strong Woman

That's my water breaking. Not a big deal. [more fluid gushes out]

The town square. Mr. Hankey gets the Christmas stage ready

Mr. Hankey

Christmas time. It's Christmas time. Christmas time. Yeah, it's Christmas time

.

Mayor McDanniels

[appears to his right with a crowd of citizens] Hankey! [he looks up and notices the crowd] We need to talk about what you tweeted!

Mr. Hankey

Oh, I'm sooo sorry. I took Ambien two nights ago and I called the schoolkids homos.

Mayor McDanniels

No, I'm talking about what you tweeted last night! [takes her phone out and reads] "The city council members are a bunch of pussy-licking Islamists."

Mr. Hankey

Oh-oh Jeez, did I say that? Listen, if you're tired and you can't sleep, DO NOT take Ambien. Okay? Whew!

Mayor McDanniels

I'm afraid we have no option but to fire you as executive planning manager of the city council.

Mr. Hankey

Fire me? Nonono, please. I-I'm really sorry. [the crowd turns and leaves] No, no wait! Wait, please give me another chance! Don't do this! What about Christmas? [croops in defeat]

South Park, day. A large sign announcing Mr. Hankey's Holiday Pageant greats the visitor upon arriving in town. A car speeds out of town

PC Principal

[in the passenger seat] It's okay. We'll be at the hospital soon. Just keep breathing.

Strong Woman

[driving, despite her condition] I didn't need your help!

PC Principal

I'm just a co-worker helping another co-worker in need.

Strong Woman

Yeah, well, people might get the wrong idea! I have worked my whole life to be the strongest woman possible, a person little girls could look up to. If those girls thought I was the type to get knocked up by my boss-

PC Principal

I certainly do not want to put an pressures on you as a female, but at times I wonder if there is more we should discuss.

Strong Woman

There's nothing to discuss! I made a mistake and I am MOVING FORWARD!

The law offices of Mayer, Schulz, and Tate, day.

Mr. Hankey

My civil rights are under attack. They can't just fire me from the Christmas show! The whole thing is my creation!

Male Lawyer

Uh, last night you tweeted "The city council can suck my Mexican dick."

Mr. Hankey

It was a joke. Look at me! I don't even have a dick! Get it? [no reaction from the lawyers] Okay, okay, look, I know: it wasn't a good joke. But it really wasn't my fault. The fact is, I went home last night and I was angry. I couldn't sleep, so I took some Ambien. And then I started tweeting. Ambien messes with my head. You ever take that crap?

Female lawyer

You want us to take this up against Ambien? They have the best lawyers in the world.

Mr. Hankey

Well, I thought maybe I could get them in a defecation lawsuit. [he is quickly kicked out] Rrrgh!

J. Prewitt law office, later. Mr. Hankey is seated at the lawyer's desk and speaks to him

Mr. Hankey

And I never ever would have said those things about the city council, but the Ambien makes me kind of blackout.

Mr. Prewitt

I'm sorry, sir, but we don't represent pieces of shit.

Mr. Hankey

Why not? [he is quickly kicked out] Rrrgh!

Gerald's law office, later. He's talking to Gerald about suing Ambien

Mr. Hankey

And I just thought maybe we could convince the city council to hire me back.

Gerald

Look, I'm sorry, but I learned a long time ago that if you defend poop, you get stained. [he is quickly kicked out. This time he just sits on the step and mopes]

Kyle

Mr. Hankey?

Mr. Hankey

Oh, Kyle. [sadly] Howwwdy ho.

Kyle

What are you doing here?

Mr. Hankey

Just tryin' to find some help. There isn't a lawyer in town who will take me. Wait a minute... You! You're the son of a lawyer. You have lawyer blood inside your veins! You can help me with my defecation lawsuit, Kyle!

Kyle

Me? What can I do?

Mr. Hankey

Please, Kyle. You're the only person left who can help me. You and me, pal, we are gonna fight the system!

Hell's Pass Hospital, day. Strong Woman and PC Principal have arrived at the hospital

Voice-over

Paging Dr. Bender.

Dr. Bender

Your vice principal gave birth to all five babies with no epidural. I must say, she's a very strong woman.

PC Principal

That she is.

Dr. Bender

The quintuplets are all healthy and resting away. [they stop by the maternity ward and look in] There are her babies, right there.

PC Principal

Oh, dude. Bro.

Dr. Bender

Yes, cute little buggers, aren't they? Three boys and two girls.

PC Principal

I think it's wrong to force gender specification upon them at this young age.

Dr. Bender

Funny. That's exactly what their mother said. [turns to face him] The quints are all Caucasian, blue-eyed, and something kind of weird.

PC Principal

What's that?

Dr. Bender

Well, the babies are all extremely PC, the likes of which I have never seen. Watch this. [walks to the intercom and presses the mic] Three black guys walk into a bar. [the newborns immediately start crying.] It's okay! It's okay! They left! They left! [the babies stop crying]

PC Principal

Doctor, would it be possible for me to... hold the PC babies?

Dr. Bender

Oh I'm sorry. That's only for the mother and father. Though, according tot he vice principal, the father doesn't even exist. [PC Principal wilts]

The neighborhood playground, day. The boys are shooting hoops without Kyle. Cartman shoots, but it's an air ball

Kyle

[runs up] You guys! Hey guys! I think I figured it out.

Kenny

(What?)

Kyle

How to get Mr. Hankey another chance. [no reaction from the boys] There's by-laws in the city council that community service leaders can't be terminated without a hearing. I need you guys there as character witnesses.

Stan

Nnnope.

Cartman

Not getting that stink on me.

Kyle

He has a right to be heard. He's meant a lot to this town.

Stan

Dude, why do you keep defending him, Kyle?

Cartman

Yeah. You know everyone in town thinks he's a piece of shit.

Kyle

Come on, guys. We can't just turn our backs. How many times has Mr. Hankey been there for us?

Stan

Mmmm. Once, kind of?

Kyle

Look, he messed up, but I don't know if he deserves everything that's coming down on him. I wanna stand by my friend.

Cartman

Mm, let's see how that goes for you in 2018. [the boys turn away and resume playing]

Strong Woman's recovery room, later. PC Principal peeks inside, then goes in and closes the door and walks up to her bed

PC Principal

Vice Principal?

Strong Woman

My babies! Where are they?

PC Principal

Shh it's okay. The babies are fine, resting in the nursery. They're the most... [voice cracking] they're the most PC babies I've ever seen.

Strong Woman

You shouldn't be here! People will start getting suspicious!

PC Principal

Look I was the one who abused my position and took advantage of a subordinate-

Strong Woman

Nobody took advantage of me!

PC Principal

N-Not took advantage. You know what I'm saying.

Strong Woman

And I'm a strong woman!

PC Principal

All I want to do is help. We can say I'm the manny. And if anyone has a problem with that, then they have a problem with gender biases, and they can take it up with me! We can keep the truth about the babies totally hidden. [the door opens and three nurses walk in holding the babies. The parents notice this]

Strong Woman

Oh yes, that curriculum should be fine for the students. I'll start working on an all-school proposal.

PC Principal

Oh yes, very good, Vice Principal. See that it is done by back to school night.

Female Nurse

A-hall right, Mommy! Your little bundles of joy are here. Oh! And who's this?

PC Principal

I am the manny. Anyone have a problem with that?

Female Nurse

No, not at all.

Male Nurse

Everything good here? [the babies start crying. He looks around, then at his shirt, which has an image of Speedy Gonzales on it.] Aw! Are these PC babies?

Park County Courthouse, day. The Mr. Hankey Hearing is being televised.

Voice-over

And now, live from the town courthouse, it's the Hankey Hearing on South Park 13. [inside, Kyle gets his papers ready as the courtroom audience takes its seats]

Mr. Waithouse

Mr. Hankey- [Mr. Hankey sniffles] Fourteen hours ago did you or did you not say "everyone in South Park is a Goddamend douchebag"?

Mr. Hankey

Y-es. That was a bad attempt at a Christmas joke.

Mr. Waithouse

But there's nothing in that statement about Christmas.

Mr. Hankey

That's what I said: it was a bad attempt.

Mr. Waithouse

What part of the statement was actually-

Mr. Hankey

You wanna hear a good Christmas joke?

Mr. Waithouse

In 2005 you said- [Mr. Hankey sniffles] You said that you had no recollection of a- [Mr. Hankey sniffles]

Mr. Hankey

Sorry, I got the sniffles.

Mr. Waithouse

Mr Hankey, do you understand how important these statements are to the citizens of this town?

Mr. Hankey

All I understand is it's only eight weeks until Christmas! If we don't stop wasting our time, we're all gonna miss out on the most magical part of the whole year!

Mr. Waithouse

What did you mean last night when you tweeted, "The Mayor of South Park is a titless whore"? [Kyle's jaw drops and his head falls forward on the table]

Mr. Hankey

Oh, come on! It was a joke! That's it! That's it, I've had enough of this whole fucking sham! Fuck all you and fuck this whole system! It's Christmastime! [leaves his chair]

Foor 4 Little, day. Strong Woman is out of the hospital and shopping with three of the quints

Strong Woman

It's okay. Shhh. We just need to get some diapers. Shhh.

Elderly Woman

[passing by] Ohhh, what adorable little babies.

Strong Woman

Thank you.

Elderly Woman

[getting a closer look] My, they look very PC.

Strong Woman

Oh no, no, they're not very PC at all.

Man 1

Awww, look at the PC babies!

Strong Woman

They actually aren't PC.

Man

No? [squats down and tells the babies] Did you hear Monica Lewinsky's becoming Republican? The Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth. [the babies cry, the adults laugh]

Strong Woman

Oh God, shhhh, nonononono. Sheee.

PC Principal

[arrives with the other two infants] Is everything all right?

Man 1

Oh Look! More PC babies!

Woman 1

They're everywhere!

Strong Woman

I told you we need to shop separately! Sh! Shhh!

Man 2

[stops by] Excuse me, where's the Oriental food aisle? [the babies cry harder]

Man 1

Shhh! Quiet! There's PC babies!

Denny's, day. Kyle is at a booth with Mr. Hankey.

Mr. Hankey

Gee whiz. Thanks for comin' out with me, Kyle. [a waiter walks by behind them and stares at Mr. Hankey] These days, it's like you're my only friend. [Kyle looks up and notices some boys looking at him. Next shot shows Clyde, Craig, Tweek, and Token at a window booth looking back at Kyle and Mr. Hankey. Kyle looks dismayed] So what's the plan, huh? What you got figured out to get my job back?

Kyle

I had a plan. You decided to call the Mayor a titless whore!

Mr. Hankey

[laughs it off] Oh, it was a joke, Kyle. Sometimes, when I take Ambien, I'm really groggy and moody the next day. It's a real side effect. It's printed right on the bottle.

Kyle

[growls] I don't know how much longer I can defend you. People are starting to think I'm shitty.

Mr. Hankey

Kyle, don't you understand this whole thing is a smear campaign? Why are people focusing on a few stupid words I said when Christmas is just around the corner?! It's like everyone's forgot about what Christmas means! [brightens up and gasps] Oh my God! Kyle, that's it! The holiday spirit!

Kyle

It's October!

Mr. Hankey

And that's the point! Don't you see? What we need to do is get everyone in the Christmas mood! We can bring the whole spirit of the holidays early!

Kyle

[looks away] Okay, you do that.

Mr. Hankey

Nonono. Kyle, you gotta help me! I can't do this alone!

Kyle

I have homework and stuff!

Mr. Hankey

You're all I have! Even my wife left with the Nuggets 'cause of all the pressure! Please!

Kyle

Okay, fine! I'll help you. But listen to me: I don't care how restless you get tonight, NO AMBIEN!

Mr. Hankey

Well, maybe just a little if I really can't sleep.

Kyle

No! None! If you want my help this time, you aren't taking any Ambien tonight. That's the deal!

Mr. Hankey

Yay! It's a deal! Oh boy, Kyle, I'm so excited! We're gonna bring the spirit of Christmas to South Park!

At South Park Central Park

Kyle is working on the set for Hankey's Christmas Concert. Heidi came to him. He turned around and saw her, only to continue not he set.

"What?" He asked

"I saw the hearing, didn't look good" she answered

"Well, he says if we make a small concert, it will get people to like him. Why are you here? Here to tell me this is not worth it too?" Heidi was about to say something but stopped. Instead, she said

"No, I'm just concerned about your wellbeing, I just don't want you to be angry for helping you" Kyle stopped and just sighed

"Angry…" he chuckled a bit. "That's what I am nowadays… The truth is… I hate being angry all the time and acting on impulse. I mean the last time I did that, I got the country that my little brother was from nuked. I'm tired of being angry and now I just want to continue helping my friends whether they may act like assholes at times" Kyle continued with his work. Heidi sighed.

"Just… just be careful, Kyle" With that, she walked away.

_"Careful? I know what I'm doing" _Kyle thought to himself

The neighborhood park, day. PC Principal and Strong Woman take the quints out for a stroll

Jogger

Oho, look at the little PC babies!

PC Principal

Oh, no, we're from uh, Missouri.

Jogger

I know a PC baby when I see one! [to the babies, cooing] Who loves social justice? Who's the future? Who's the big bad future? Yes they are. [one of the quints giggles]

Woman 2

Ohh, PC babies!

PC Principal

All right, please move along, folks. We don't want the babies to get excited. [a synthesizer begins to play, and everyone within earshot of it stops to listen]

Mr. Hankey

Helloooo South Park! Come on, everybody! Get over here! [Craig, Clyde, Tweek, and Token exit the Halloween Outlet store with their cosumes] Who wants to see a miracle?! Howwwdy ho, everyone! Guess what time it is? It's Christmastime! [fireworks go off as citizens gather at the town square]

All

Oohhhhh!

Mr. Hankey

Deck the halls and trim the trees, Christmas time is here.  
Gonna sing and flush our worries away. It's the best time of the year

That's right, everybody! Who loves the holidays? [all cheer] Just like when Christ was born, let's all be with our mothers and fathers and- [the PC babies begin to cry] Let's not forget that, that boys and girls all over the world are

Man 3

Hey! Hey, careful! You're upsetting the PC babies!

Mr. Hankey

The PC what-Listen! Christmas season means peace on earth and good will towards men! [the crying continues] All right, all right look, what, what is the holiday season about? It's about loving each other, right? Loving and- [getting exasperated] What?! What are they crying about now?!

Man 4

Sometimes PC babies don't even know what they're crying about.

Mr. Hankey

Well, then tell the babies to shut the fuck up! [the crowd turns on him] Who the fuck brings a Goddamned baby to a Christmas show, anyway?!

Kyle

[leaps away from the keyboard and grabs Mr. Hankey] Mr. Hankey, stop!

Mr. Hankey

Lemme go, Kyle! These people are idiots! [proceeds to beat up Kyle and wreck the stage. The crowd disperses]

At The Park

Kyle was sitting at a park bench. He was covered in feces and smelled little. He felt so utterly defeated. Heidi walked up to him

"Hi…" she said carefully. Kyle looked at her, but said nothing. He looked back down. Heidi jumped up and sat on the bench, next to him, but a little bit away, he smelled bad.

"You look like crap" She said honestly.

"Yeah…" Kyle sighed "I guess…"

"How long are you gonna support him? Do you want people to hate you too?"

"No, it's just… Mr. Hankey has been there for me every Hanuka, ever since everyone started celebrating him, he always spends time with me. I want to help him back, but I'm not sure how long this can last…" They both were silent, till Heidi said

"I know how you feel… when you feel to lost, there comes this guy who's nice and you enjoy being with him. When suddenly… he becomes a jerk and you don't want to hurt him because he helped you… and you end up becoming him…" Heidi jumped off the bench and started to walk away when Kyle asked

"Heidi? Am I a bad person?" Heidi stop. She thought back to that one time…

—

"Am I a bad person?" Past Heidi asked Past Kyle

—

Heidi closed her eyes and sighed, she opened them and turned around

"It's just like you told me" she answered, "Sometimes, good people make bad decisions…" With that… Heidi walked away...

Downtown South Park. Kyle walks down the street battered from the beatdown Mr. Hankey gave him

Girl

Mommy, something stinks. [they stop to look at Kyle]

Mother

Yeah, like shit. [takes her daughter's hand and moves on. A shopkeeper shuts his door as Kyle walks by]

Man 5

[drives by and honks] You stand up for all pieces of crap?! Asshole!

The neighborhood park, moments later. Kyle walks by with his head down. His friends stop playing to look at him. He looks back

Cartman

Uh huh! 2018. [they turn and walk away as Kyle moves on. Further on, he sees Mr. Hankey and stops]

Mr. Hankey

Kyle, listen. It was 3 a.m. last night and I still hadn't slept, so I de- [Kyle ignores him and walks on] Kyle? Kyle, please! They're gonna run me out of town, Kyle! They're going to erase me and everything I ever did.

Kyle

[turns around] You want them to erase me, too?

Mr. Hankey

Kyle, we can all be shitty sometimes.

Kyle

Uh... [sighs a few times, then turns away with nothing to say and walks off]

Strong Woman's office, night. The babies are put to sleep

PC Principal

They're so strong, like their mother.

Strong Woman

They're so PC, like... whoever their father is. [PC looks at her] We'll never keep them quiet. Our only hope is to keep them hidden. [closes the office door]

PC Principal

Can they ever know that I'm their dad?

Strong Woman

We did the most un-PC thing imaginable. Think about what that would do to them. We can never let them know the debaucherous, sickening circumstances that brought them into this world.

PC Principal

Then I'll just try to be the best principal to them that I possibly can.

Strong Woman

And I'll be their strongest vice principal, and hopefully... the world will calm down and not do anything to upset them.

South Park news.

Newscaster

Today... South Park says goodbye to Mr. Hankey. The longtime union of this town and the holiday figure... is over for good. We should all feel pretty great about ourselves, give ourselves a little, nice pat on the back, as we, as a society, continue to try and sweep away all the poop. [next scene is Mr. Hankey walking out of town as the residents look on]

Mr. Hankey

Well, everyone, I guess this is goodbye. It sure has been swell.

Mayor McDaniels

No goodbyes, Mr. Hankey. You just need to go. We already called you a Poober.

Mr. Hankey

A Poober? They have that? [A Lyft car honks and pulls up] Oh, you mean Lyft. Well, okay. Goodbye, everyone. I hope I brought a few smiles and a few laughs into your hearts.

Mayor McDaniels

[opens the back door for him, then firmly] Goodbye, Mr. Hankey. [he hops in and she closes the door. The car pulls away and Mr. Hankey looks out the window and sees the town for one last time with a sad look on his face]

Stan

Where will he go?

Randy

He'll have to find a place that accepts racist, awful beings like him. There are still places out there who don't care about bigotry and hate.

Springfield, day. Mr. Hankey hops into the town square, which is filled with Springfield residents, including the Simpsons

Mr. Hankey

Hoowwwwdy ho!

Bart

Cool man, talking crap.

Apu

Welcome, my friend. Please, rest your weary feet and make yourself at home here.

All

Hooray!

#cancelthesimpsons

End.


	6. Vaping, Weed, Smokes and Alcohol

Vaping, Weed, Smokes and Alcohol

By: Pikamonproductions

**(Warning: Spoilers to "You're Getting Old" and "Assburger")**

**South Park Elementary**

At a sandbox, some kindergartners are playing. One of them, Ike Broflovski, was smoking a vape pen. Somewhat far away, stood Millie Larsen. She rolled her eyes and said "Amateurs", mocking them. She started to walk away, but someone shouted for her

"Millie!" Millie looked to the left and saw Kyle, followed by Stan, who was wearing a brown shirt saying "100% Hemp Tegridy Farms", Cartman and Kenny. Kyle didn't look happy. In fact, he looked pissed off.

"Hey Kyle" Millie said, not sure what Kyle is angry about "What's the matter?"

"Have you seen my brother?"

"Ike? He's at the sandbox" she answered, pointing to the sandbox. Kyle walked away to the sandbox, followed by his friends

_"Someone is in trouble" _Millie thought mockingly. She continued to walk, that's when her little sister, Flora, walked past her. She was holding a pen-shaped object.

"Hi Millie!" She said quickly

"Hi Flora" Millie stop and greeted her sister. She started to walk but stop, she needed to take a double-take, what was in her sister's hand?

"Flora, what's in your hand?" Flora stopped, she turned around, having both her arms behind her back

"Nothing!" She said hastily, making a nervous smile. Millie went to her and crossed her arms

"Show me what's behind your arms" she demanded. Flora revealed a pen-like object. Millie took it and gasped angrily.

"A vaping pen?! Flora, what's wrong with you?!"

"It's just vaping! It's healthier than smoking!"

"Yes, it's healthier, but you're too young for this! Flora, I don't want you to vape anymore"

"But, sis-" Flora tried to argue, but a stern look from her armed crossed sister made her sighed in defeat

"Okey..." she walked away. Millie looked at the pen and snapped it.

A few days later...

The Buss Stop

At the familiar bus stop, stood Wendy, Bebe, Red and Heidi. Leaning on the sign was a random dude, high as balls.

"Dude?" The guy asked "Can you guys see that rainbow?" The girls looked at his direction, it was just a rock.

"Sigh, no, it's just a rock" Wendy said annoyed.

"Really? I could swear it was"

"This is why weed shouldn't be legal" Wendy said to the other girls "potheads are going to be roaming around the town now" the girls nodded in agreement. Though Red, unbeknownst to the others, had a small bag of weed in her backpack...

Outside Tom's Rhinoplasty

A guy is standing, looking at his wristwatch. He was waiting for someone... that when a little kid came. The kid was wearing a trenchcoat and a big fedora to cover their face. The kid stood next to the man and handed over something behind their back. It was a bag of weed. The man bent down and took the bag, while handing over a case of cigarettes to the kid. After that, he walked away. The kid did the same.

The kid went behind a corner, now not seen in the alleyway, the kid removed the fedora, revealing Millie! She chuckled as she took of the trenchcoat.

"Hello, sweeties" she said, as she opened the case. She stuck up a cig and grabbed it with her mouth. She put it in her pocket and pulled up a lighter. She lit it over the cig, it smoke finally started to come out. She put the lighter back to the pocket. She took the cig away and blew out the smoke. She sighs in relief.

*Glugg *Glugg

Her eyes shot open and looked at her left, she was scared. Saw someone else here? She can't let anyone see her! As the glugging continued, she slowly walked to the sound. That's when she saw something that made her shocked. Sitting next to a trash container, was Stan, drinking a bottle of beer. He stopped and just sat there, looking miserable.

Millie stood there, looking at the boy. She thought for herself, if she knew about that he drank alone, and he knew she smokes, they're had to keep this a secret, to make sure no one got to know about their secret lives...

Stan took another sip from the bottle.

"Room for another?" Millie's voice was heard. Stan spat out the beer and looked around bewildered. That's when he finally saw Millie, holding a cigarette. The half-drunk boy just looked at her with squinted eyes.

"Ar-are you a hallucination?" He asked

"No, I'm in the flesh" Millie jokingly answered. Stan looked at her hand that was holding a cig.

"I didn't know you smoke, does anyone else know that?"

"I didn't know you drank beer, does anyone else know that" Millie countered. Stan sighed and gestured that she could stay. Millie went and leaned to the wall, taking another smoke.

"So... when did you start drinking?"

Stan took another sip of the beer. He then answered

"When my parents got together again for a second time"

"Oh yeah, I remember that. That was when you were diagnosed with Assburger. But, shouldn't you be happy that your family got back together?"

"I would have, If it wasn't for the shit I went through. When I became 10 years old, I started to see shit. Everything I liked tasted like shit, people started to look like shit. It was awful. The worse thing was my friends just gave up on me and my parents divorced so we had to move.

I spend the entire time trying to fix everything, until I realized that, things change, and I should move on that just living in the past. But the world just gave me a middle finger and reset everything to the status quo"

"Isn't that good?" She asked

"No, because everything became predictable! That's why I started to drink, to make me get through every day!"

He took another sip

"It started to fade a few months later. But I've started again because of that fucking farm"

"I don't mind it, I can get cigarettes much easier now. Usually, I had to steal some beer and give it to a guy who bought a package for me"

"That's great!" Stan shouted sarcastically "But I have to live with a dad who doesn't care about anyone but himself, I have to live far away from my friends! It fucking sucks!" He drank up the bottle and threw it at the wall on the other side. As it smashed into pieces, he took another bottle.

"So what about you? Why are you smoking?" Millie took another smoke. When she blew out, she simply said

"My dad"

"Huh?"

"My dad is a fucking asshole. He sits around just drinking beer and watching tv all day. Whenever he does anything, he just beats up my mom" she smoked again

"All night long... I fucking hate him. My mom is too much of a pussy to talk back. Then again, she was a stripper when she was younger. Which is why I smoke once a week... I guess you drank once or twice a day?"

"Once a day, so not that bad..." Stan drank again. "Why so careful?"

"I have my sister"

"You're sister?"

"Flora. She's my only bundle of joy. I read a bedtime story to her. Play with her. Make sure to be a good role model for her" she huffed "and yet I'm smoking, while not allowing her to vape. Isn't that hypocritical?" She dropped the cig and squashed it with her foot.

"Don't you have any reason to be happy with anything" Stan was silent for a very long time until he said "I have... my mother... she is still the best mom alive. My friends, I love being with them, even Cartman. The adventures we go on. W-... Wendy..."

"Oh... you two are not together anymore"

"Actually... we have been talking about going on therapy..."

"Therapy?"

"Couples Therapy. We haven't found a good date yet. And it's even harder now that I moved to that fucking farm, and by the looks of it. I won't be leaving that place anytime soon..." he got up and turned the bottle upside down, letting everything spill out. He dropped the bottle.

"Thanks for the talk, Millie. I needed that" Stan smiled finally

"My pleasure to help" Millie smiled back. And with that, they parted ways.

The Next Day

At the Bus Stop

Wendy, Bebe and Heidi are at the bus stop, when Red comes to them and stands next to Wendy. Her eyes were full dark pink and she was having a smile. Wendy sniffed a scent from Red, she gasped in shock

"Red... did you smoke weed?!"

"W-what?" Red looked at Wendy, then turned back to the road.

"Yeah, I tried some"

"What?" Bebe asked bewildered

"What the fuck?" Heidi asked angerly.

"Why the hell would you do that?" Red then walked in front of everyone, standing in the middle of the road.

"Look look, hear me out girls. It's not that bad. I've had an awesome adventure with this"

"Red, get out of the road! A car can come" Wendy said demanding

"Oh please, Wends, this is a Bus Road, only buses come here. And besides, I would be fine the next day If I got ra-" Red wasn't able to finish that sentence, a speeding car runs over the redhead, breaking her neck and bones. Blood started to pour out from her. The girls were terrified by the sight, Heidi held her mouth with both hands

"Oh my God, they killed Red!" Wendy shouted

"You Bitches!" Bebe shouted angerly at the driver

At McCormick's

Kenny sneezed. He was sick. But that wasn't the reason he sneezed he thought.

At the Church

families and friends close to Red were gathered as the grave of Red was present. There were a lot of girls who cried.

"The Lord gives and the Lord takes" Father Maxi did his normal speech.

The Next Day

At the Bus Stop

Wendy, Bebe and Heidi stood at the bus stop. Acting like everything was normal? Suddenly, Red arrived and stood next to Wendy! Wendy looked at her red-haired friend.

"Oh hi, Red" she greeted, acting like everything was fine

"Where have you been?" Bebe asked. Red shrugged her shoulders

"Eh, nothing much" the girls went back to waiting for the bus.

_"They must never know..."_ Red thought to herself...

End.


	7. E-Scooter Chaos

**E-Scooter Chaos**

By: Pikamon Productions

**South Park Elementary**

It was a normal October school day, Halloween was close around the corner. Theresa was walking to the dining hall. And was followed by Micheal "Crow".

"Can you just let it go already?" She said annoyed

"No way!" Crow shouted "I want another rematch! I'm going to win this time!"

"No, you won't"

"And why do you think that? Already cocky?"

"No, because you used the exact same deck from when we were kids. I actually bought new cards when I got the chance"

"That means you decided to think with your wallet instead of your mind!" They got into the hall. "Giving Konami money is the equivalent of selling your soul to the devil" Theresa and Micheal stop as they looked at the sight, confused. Everyone was arguing very loudly to each other, angrily to be exact.

"What's going on?" Theresa asked

"I have no idea" is all Micheal could say. That's when Tricia Ruby Tucker, Craig's little sister, got to them.

"Everyone is arguing on who's idea was first" She explained

"Who's idea?" Theresa asked. Tricia explained "Everyone plan on using E-Scooters to trick or treat"

"…E-Scooters?" Is all Crow could ask.

South Park Elementary(Outside)

Theresa, Micheal/Crow and Tricia were now outside, looking at a parked E-Scooter.

"How does it work?" Theresa asked Tricia

"You apparently connect it with your phone" She explained. Micheal hoped up the scooter and started to use his iPhone to connect

"When did you get an iPhone?" Theresa asked him

"Not mine, yours" he said quickly. Theresa got shocked and searched herself, her phone was gone

"Hey!" She shouted angrily.

"I'm just borrowing it" With that said, Crow turned the handle and the scooter started to move. Micheal cheered in joy.

"This is so cool!" He stopped and jumped off the scooter.

"We so gotta do this on Halloween! Now that I think about it, Theresa Johnson!" He pointed dramatically at her "I challenge you to a candy hunt!"

"What?" She was not happy to hear that

"The one who gets more candy is the winner!"

"I'm not gonna compete with you"

"Why not? Chhhhhhicken!?" Micheal then proceeded to imitate a chicken while shouting like a hen. Theresa held her ears, but it was no avail.

"Ok fine!" She shouted back "I accept!"

"Great!" Both had their heads very close to each other "Let the challenge begin" The he pointed at Tricia

"You! Wanna be on the challenge?" He asked her

"No, I don't do trick or treating. It's dumb". Crow and Theresa gasped. A Kid doesn't like trick or treating? How is that possible?

"But… you get free candy!" Micheal agreed, still dumbfounded

"Yeah, by dressing up in dumb costumes"

"Well, YOU're dumb for thinking that!" Crow insulted her, pointing on her. All Tricia did… was flip him off and walked back into the school. Both Theresa and Micheal just started.

"Well, she really is Craig Tucker's sister" was all Theresa could say. Crow looked at her

"Nevermind her, you better find a costume!"

"So do you"

"Bitch, please. I'm already in costume!" He pointed all over him.

"Uncreative as always, Micheal…" Theresa said and walked back to the school. Leaving Micheal.

"It took me 10 days to find the exact clothes! And 3 hours to make my makeup!"

**Halloween Night**

The chaos begins! Hundreds of children and teens scramble to get an E-Scooter, some even enact violence to get one. Look, there's Cartman punching Butters. Before anyone could say "There's still more Scooter", every scooter had been taken.

Theresa jumps out from the school as quickly she could, she was struggling to put on her boots to her Wonder Woman costume.

"No no no!" She cried out. All the scooters were gone!

"Ha ha! Suck it!" Crow taunted her, as he dashed away on his scooter. Theresa sighed and sat down on the sidewalk, sighing. Tricia walks up to her.

"Sad you'll lose?" She asked.

"No, I just wanted to trick or treat. But with these scooters, I don't think there will be enough when I arrive. I'm going to be the only one candy-less on Halloween…" Tricia scratched her chin. She smiled as she got an idea

"Or perhaps not" she said and walked away

"Huh?" Theresa asked, looking at Tricia. She stopped and turned around, gesturing to follow her

"Well? You coming?" She continued to walk, a confused Theresa followed the little girl.

**Neighborhood Outskirt.**

Micheal on speeding E-Scooter is overseeing the chaos that is E-Scooter Trick or Treating. Every house was occupied with many kids and teens wanting candy

"Jesus Christ, where the fuck did everyone come from?!" Crow pointed out

"It doesn't matter!" Clyde shouted, who got next to Micheal "I'm gonna get candy even if I die for it!" Crow looked around and noticed a bouncy ball. He grin and turned the steering at the fullest speed

"Par-KOOOOOOOOOOOUR!" He shouted as he dashed in high-speed. He then jumped up with the scooter, bouncing oof the ball. Slow-motion happens as Crow flies past a woman holding a bowl full of candy, trying to give 10 different kids candy.

"Trick or treat!" Micheal shouted in slow-motion, as he took the entire bowl. Slow-motion stops as he lands, almost losing balance. He looked back

"HEY! GIVE ME BACK BY CANDY!" The woman shouted. Crow looked back at the bowl and laughed maniacally

"I'm on the roll!" He exclaimed and held down all the candy into his plastic bag. He then threw away the bowl and it crashed into a cat that cried in pain.

**At "Lolly's Candy Factory" Candy Shop**

Tricia and Theresa entered the shop, it was a total mess. Boxes of candy either empty or destroyed. Glass splinters were on the ground too.

"Hello? Mr. Lolly?" Tricia called the owner of the shop. The fat owner of the shop slowly looked up behind the counter.

"Tricia?" He asked. Tricia answered with a "yeah?". Lolly sighed in relief "Oh, good. I thought for a second that" He stopped when he saw Theresa. Lolly pulled up a double-barrel shotgun. Theresa pulled up her arms

"I don't have any candy! Please just leave!" He shouted, fear in his voice and eyes. Tricia went infant of Theresa

"Call down, Lolly! She's with me!"

"How so?!"

"She isn't able to trick or treat with anyone because of the scooters being occupied. Just calm down and put down the gun!" Lolly hesitated for a moment but did as the girl said.

"Alright… you hear for your usual?" He asked. Tricia grabbed a few dollars from her pocket "Sure am". She jumped up and put the money on the counter, while Lolly gave her a small bag of candy.

"Thanks Mr. Lolly, have a nice remaining Halloween!" She thanked and walked away, followed by a confused Theresa.

"A have nice remaining Halloween too, little Ruby!" He said back.

**Outside**

"He had candy saved for you?" Theresa asked the little girl, who responded

"Yeah, I always go to him every Halloween. I don't T&T like the others"

"What happened to his shop?"

"Must have been the adults scrambling to get candy"

"What?"

"My parents were terrified for tonight, not wanting to little candy because they don't want their house egged"

"If that's true then… oh my… now I feel bad for trying to use a scooter…"

"Eh, we're kids, if it's candy, we don't care about the consequence. Now come on, let's see if other stores I visit have saved up some candy for me. You can buy some of them if you want"

What followed then was a small montage of Theresa following Tricia to other stores. There she, either saw Tricia buy a candy bag that was saved for her. Buying herself a candy bag or Theresa listen to the shop owner of the horrors they faced.

**The Neighborhood. **

Mr. Testaburger was throwing candy to the kids, when an orange thing swooshed past him.

"Were they fuck did my bowl go!?" He shouted in fear. Cut to a speeding scooter with a very thick plastic bag, Crow lands on it, having Mr. Testaburger's candy bowl. He shouted in joy and praise to himself

"YEAH! WOOOOO! BLACKWING KING! DARK RIDER!" As he grins, he held down the candy into the bag, but he didn't nice that the back of the bag, got stuck into the front wheel of the scooter, Micheal was thrown off the scooter and crashed into the ground. The scooter crashed too, spilling out all the candy on the street.

"Ow…" Micheal grunted and tried to get up. Then to his horror, kids started to take all his candy!

"NO! MY CANDY!" He tried to stop them but to no avail. He started to curse and stomp his foot int eh ground hard. He looked around and saw Scott Malkinson, the diabetic kid, with a bag of candy trying to get his scooter to work. Crow ran up to Scott and demanded "Give me your candy" Scott looked at him angry "What?" He lisped "I'm not gonna give you my can-" Micheal pulled up his gun! "I SAID GIVE ME YOUR CANDY, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Scott shouted in fear

"Why are you even trick or treating?! I thought sugar killed people like you!"

"I JUST LIKE GETTING FREE CANDY!"

Suddenly, everyone on a scooter just stopped. Everyone was just confused. Scott tried to make it go but to no avail. He looked on his phone

"I'm not getting a signal" he lisped. Micheal lowered the gun disbelief.

"So… no scooter?" He sighed and walked away.

**Meanwhile**

Theresa and Tricia were walking past everyone who was either trying to make their scooter to go, trying to find a signal to their phone. Both girls were holding bags of candy they bought from the different stores.

"Does anyone have a signal?" Clyde's voice was heard somewhere.

"What happened?" Theresa asked "Why have all scooters stopped?"

"Maybe the internet crashed again" Tricia said

**(Note: Season 20 Episode 10)**

They go to the Tucker Residence.

"Well, here's my stop" the little girl said

"Thanks for tonight, Tricia" Theresa thanked "I think I'm gonna buy my candy the coming Halloweens. In case something like this happens again"

"Well, I just showed my traditions. Better go in and see if my parents are alright" As Theresa boded, they both started as a scooter was driving by itself past them…

**At Stevens Residence. **

Crow closed the door and hoped up the couch, letting himself sinking into it. He sighed in tiresomeness. The door opened and closed. Micheal looked and saw Bebe and Wendy, carrying two jack-o-lantern designed bags. Bebe was dressed up in her warrior outfit from Stick of Truth, while Wendy… I don't know who she's dressed up as, a Fortnite Skin? Tell me in the comments if any of you sold your sou- I mean, play Fortnite.

"Oh, right. You live here" Crow said.

"Where's your candy?" Wendy asked

"People took it when I crashed. I didn't feel like treating anymore. I'll just live as the only kid that doesn't have candy on Halloween…" Bebe looked at one of her bags. She sighed and put her bag next to Micheal.

"Here, me and Wendy have plenty" She and her noirette haired friend went upstairs.

Crow just looked at the bag. He took and looked up to the stairs.

"Thanks…" is all he could say. He took up a treat and started to eat.

**End.**

**After Credits Ending**

The Scooter from before is in the forest and enters a broken shed. The scooter falls down and from it, appeared digital squares, shaping into a man. He goes to a computer and presses a button.

"Well? How did the mission go?" A female computerized voice asked

"The mission failed" the man said "Subject: Kenny McCormick and Subject: James Mackey Jr. took down the station. All scooters have shut down. South Park is still standing"

"Very well, return to base" The voice said "We have a way to make this work. South Park shall bow down to the ads, no matter what…"


	8. The ManBearPig

The ManBearPig

By: Pikamonproductions

The mutant freak that is ManBearPig is wreaking havoc, destroying property and killing people. He even killed Satan who tried to save everyone!

Heidi has fallen down and tries to stand up, but her leg is hurting too much!

As the giant mess was about to attack the girl, he was hit in the face by a rock. It got his attention to the thrower: Red!

"Fight someone at your size!" She taunted him. ManBearPig roared in a mix of a pig and bear sound and ran at the red-haired girl.

"Oh shit!" She exclaimed and ran. She ran into an alleyway. Only to get to a dead-end!

"I… might not have thought this through" She said to herself. She turned around and saw ManBearPig coming at her. All she could do was scream in fear as she tried to shield herself with her hands. The stomping stopped… She opened her eyes to look. ManBearPig's claw was very close to her face. Red was paralyzed in fear. If she did one small move, she'd be dead. ManBearPig withdraw and started to smell the red hair, he huffed at her and lumbered away. Red fell back on her back. Hyperventilate and tears in her eyes.

"He… he knows…" Is all she could say…

**Later**

Cut to a crowd, all of them are running away from the rampage, one of them is Bebe! She is however grabbed by someone and dragged into a trash container.

Trash Container(Inside)

Bebe is screaming in the darkness.

"Shut up!" A boy's voice called "Do you want him to find us?!"

"M- Micheal?" Bebe asked. The boy turned a lighter on, revealing himself to be Micheal/Crow. Crow turned the light off.

"I need light!" Bebe asked

"No, he might smell the fire if we keep it" Micheal argued

"So what? We're just gonna sit in the darkness?"

"Yeah pretty much"

**4 hours later.**

Crow opened the roof. He looked around, it was finally day, and he didn't hear any sound from ManBearPig. He and Bebe got out and saw the destroyed buildings and cars. Along with the dead people

"Jesus Christ…" is all Crow could say.

"Yeah, a normal day on South Park…" Crow just looked at her confused "Seriously? This is a normal day?"

"Pretty much…"

"HELP!" Someone cried.

"Wendy?!" Bebe shouted.

"OVER HERE!" Wendy was stuck under a metal plate. Bebe ran to there friend and tried to move the plate up, but it's too heavy

"I could use some help, Crow!" She demanded him

"Fine, geez, don't be a bitch about it" Micheal held the other side of the plate, they were able to pull it up and Wendy crawled out. They let go, and Wendy dusted herself off. Crow saw her Beret laying on the ground.

"Are you okay?" Bebe asked her friend, Wendy noded. Then she felt on her head, that her signature beret is gone!

"My beret! Where's my beret!?"

"Here, it was laying over there" Micheal handed over the beret. Wendy grated it and put it back on her head.

"Thanks"

"Girls!" Red shouted. Wendy, Bebe and Crow saw both Red and Theresa both carrying Heidi, one of her legs were bent.

"Girls! You alright?!" Wendy asked concerned

"We are but Heidi's leg is broken!" Theresa explained.

"We need to get to the hospital!"

**Later**

**At Hellpass Hospital**

Heidi was laying on a hospital bed. Her leg wrapped up in a bandage.

"You're lucky, young miss" The Doctor said

"It's only a sprained ankle. You only need a few days rest" All the girls sighed in relief.

**Later, again**

**The Park County Courthouse**

A crowd full of people was standing outside it. Wendy, Bebe, Red, Theresa, Crow and many other kids were watching by.

"Hope we get rid of him" Someone said. That's when they saw Stan looked through the window.

"Um, he says he'll never come back again, but... we have to give up soy sauce and Red Dead Redemption 2!" He explained. All the adults oh'ed in unison. "Just plain rice?" Some guy asked.

"...Yeah, that's what I thought" is all Stan could say and went back into the window.

"… So they're gonna sacrifice us just so they can have RDR2 and fucking soy sauce?" Crow asked irritated.

"Seems like it…" Craig said bluntly. Micheal just circled his fingers around his forehead.

"I fucking hate this town…"

End.


	9. Stendy History

(Story ideas borrowed from "The Adventures of Stan Marsh and Wendy Testaburger)

**Cold Opening**

**An Office**

Wendy Testaburger entered the room. On a couch sat Stan. On a chair sat a therapist

"Ah, you must be Ms. Testaburger" The therapist, said "Please have a seat" Wendy did so and sat next to Stan

"So… Mr. Marsh" he looked at Stan "Tell me what's on your mind…"

Stendy History

By: Pikamon Productions

**At Foor 4 Little**

(Music: Carefree After School - Yugioh OST)

Someone exits the store. It's Crow/Micheal! He has bought a soda. He shakes it and opens the lit. Foam ejects from the hole. After it subdues, he starts drinking it. Micheal goes for a walk, he passes many familiar stores and buildings like "Tom's Rhinoplasty". Crow throws away the now empty can of soda, a cat cries in pain. As the orange-haired dude walks past a stone sigh standing on the ground, someone opened the door to a building.

Music Interrupted.

Micheal backs up and hides behind the sign. He peaks at the corner and sees… Stan and Wendy. Keeping himself hidden, Crow sees Stan and Wendy, holding hands walking out from a building. When getting to the sidewalks. They both hold each other's hands. They kiss, and walk their separate ways.

Micheal has no idea what he just saw.

Flashback. South Park Elementary

Micheal is watching as Stan is playing with his guy friends and most of it him being close to Kyle. He also watches Wendy being with her female friends and dealing with problems a Student Body Teacher deals with.

"This doesn't make any sense" Crow said bewildered. "How can they be a couple?"

He looked at the building and decided to go in.

**The Building. Bottom Floor. **

Micheal sees a sign. It says a lot of different company names. In which he gets the attention of one name

"All-Around Therapy?" Crow reads that the therapy is a floor 4

**The Building. Floor 4.**

Crow enters a waiting room and goes to the receptionist.

"Excuse me?" He asked the woman behind the desk

"Oh, hello young boy" the woman greeted "Are you here for therapy?"

"N-no… I was wondering if a boy and a girl were here? He was wearing a blue hat with a red poof ball on it and the girl is wearing a purple… French hat" Micheal doesn't know what a beret is called. The woman typed on the computer and answered

"Oh yes. A Stan Marsh and Wendy Testaburger was here. They were here for relationship counseling"

"Relationship Counseling? That's a thing?" Crow walked away, now in deep thoughts

_"Well, something interesting finally happened that isn't dumb. Let's find out some relationship problems" _he thought to himself, leaving the waiting room

**The Next Day**

**South Park Elementary**

Stan is putting in some books into his locker. When he closes it, Crow is there, leaning on the other lockers. Stan jumped a bit in fright.

"Oh, it's just you... Micheal, was it?" Stan said in relief.

"Or just Crow" Micheal answered. "So… you and that French girl. That's a weird relationship"

"French girl? Oh, you mean Wendy? Why is that weird?" Crow stopped leaning

"Don't be offended, but I find it hard to believe that the biggest dude-bro in this school, who's too clingy to one person and the Student Body President, who's also a feminist, would be a couple" Stan, indeed, got offended by that statement.

"Love can happen to anyone you least expect, why do you even care?"

"Look pal, This week has been boring as hell, that's a first since I got here. And there has been nothing but weird shit that doesn't make any sense that's been happening for over a month. Talking poo, ManBearPig, Vaping kindergartners. For the first time in my life, I'm curious about a relationship that doesn't really make any sense. So could you PLEASE, explain this?" Stan was silent, until he asked

"You're just gonna keep asking me until I say yes?"

"Yes"

Stan sighed in defeat. "Fine, meet me in the janitor's closet on recess" Micheal nodded in agreement and walked away, only for Stan to call out

"Wait, what do you mean I'm too "clingy" to one person?" Crow stopped and turned around.

"I mean it looks like you're in love with that Kyle guy" He turned away and walked. Stan pulled down his hat over his eyes, feeling embarrassed.

**Later that day**

**Janitor's Closet**

Stan entered the room. He closed the door and turned around, seeing Micheal already being there

"You're here already?" Stan asked him.

"Yeah" He answered "I like to be ahead"

"I've noticed… well, I'm here now"

"Good, now we need to wait for the other one"

"Other one?" Stan's question was answered with Wendy walking into the janitor's closet. Both were shocked to see each other

"Stan?"

"Wendy?"

"I wanted her here too. Would be good to have a second point of view" Is all Crow could say as he sat down with his arms crossed. Stan and Wendy looked at each other, and then sat down too.

"So… how exactly is your relationship with one another?"

"Sigh, where to even begin…" Wendy asked herself.

"How about when we first meet?" Stan asked. Wendy smiled "That's a great idea"

**Flashback**

**Snowy hills.**

"It was a week before third grade started" Stan's voiceover said. Many children are playing in the snow or riding on sleds down the mountains. On top of a hill, an unsure and scared Stan is sitting on a sled.

"Now, Son" Past Randy started "remember to hold tight to the sled when you go down"

"Okay, dad"

"I honestly didn't want to do this in the first place. I'd rather go to Stark's Pond with my friends and throw stones in the water"

"Ready Stan?" Past Randy asked.

"Ready," Past Stan answered,

"I really wasn't. But off I went after my dad pushed me. At first I was going pretty slow, but the speed increased, and I almost thought I was gonna fall off. But then I remembered my dad telling me I had to hold on tight. So I did. I held on tight, closing my eyes, as my sled kept sliding down.

This is stupid. It's more dangerous to go down a hill with my eyes closed then with them open. So I opened them and screamed when I saw a big boulder was in the way and heard my dad calling my name. I made a quick turn, when I suddenly saw another kid on a sled. I tried to stop, but it was too late, and I ran into the kid.

The sleds went sliding, and we finally stopped and fell into the snow. I opened my eyes, and slowly pulled myself up, then brushing the snow off my jacket. I turned to the kid who I slid into"

"Are you okay?" Past Stan asked.

"That's when I meet her"

In front of Past Stan, stood the dark haired girl. She wore a purple jacket, yellow trousers and a purple beret.

"Her one eye twinkled as she stared at me"

"Yeah, I'm okay," Past Wendy replied. Past Stan helped her up

"I'm really sorry."

"It's alright. I saw you coming, but I didn't actually think you would run into me."

"Oh."

"Sweetheart! Where are you?!" Past Deborah Testaburger's voice could be heard. Past Wendy looked back when she heard her mother calling her name. "Well, bye." She left.

"Bye," Past Stan said softly.

"For some reason, I didn't know what else to say or think. I didn't even reply to my mom and dad calling me. I just kept thinking about _her_. She seemed very sweet. If only...if only I could see her again"

"This reminds me of a song for some reason" Micheal pointed out

"Oh yeah" Stan said happily "We found a song that told a story similar to how we meet. We even made our cover of that!"

"I was even surprised we were able to sing it! You only threw up three times!" Wendy happily commented. Crow was just confused by that comment. "Threw up? Just Three times?" He titled his head each sentence.

"Well get to that" Stan said, not looking happy about it.

**South Park Elementary**

"So when the third grade started" started Present Wendy. "I noticed Stan was in the same class as me and Bebe, the girl you live with. He was looking at me, when I looked back, he looked away. At lunch, I asked Bebe what I should do.

"Talk to him, he obviously likes you" Past Bebe told Past Wendy.

"I thought for a bit. And decided to do it. He was sitting with his guy friends. I said hi. Stan was going to say hi back, but just stopped. I had no idea what was wrong with him, so I greeted again"

"And then…" started Stan, regretting so much of what he was about to say "I threw up"

Past Stan vomited a huge spray to green goo on the girl, who was unprepared for it.

**Janitor's Room, Present Day**

"You threw up?" Crow asked confused.

"I have a very weak stomach" Stan explained, holding his stomach "And being so nervous I could barely say anything, it really stirred something up"

"So I tried to talk to him again, only to be vomited again" Past Stan vomited on Wendy.

"EW!" Past Wendy shouted and ran away. Past Stan tried to reach out for the girl.

"I was scared" Past Stan explained "I had barfed on her twice, and she tried to just say hi to me. I wanted her to know that I liked her. But I was afraid to vomit on her again. So I keep a distance from her. But I kept looking at her, having butterflies in my stomach. I wanted her to be my girlfriend. But my vomiting was getting in my way…"

"Until one day, about a month later, I decided to try again. After getting vomited on, I gave him a note that I wanted to meet him at Stark's Pond later that day. We meet up, and he vomited on me, twice. Kyle was there and he said that his brother had been kidnapped by Visitors!"

"Visitors?" Present Crow's voice could be heard, as the climax of "Cartman Gets An Anal Probe" happens.

"Aliens!" Stan and Wendy declared in happy unison

"Of Course Aliens exist, silly me" he grunted

"Anyhow" Wendy continued "We saved Ike and things were back to normal"

"Thanks for your help, Wendy" Past Stan thanked Past Wendy, who smiled and answered.

"Whatever, dude."

"Hey, I didn't throw up!"

"Cool!"

"I then saw Wendy leaning over to me. I realized then that she was going to kiss me! I happily watched her lean in, when...I threw up all over me and her."

"Ew!"

"Sorry,"

"Hey look! A french fry!" Past Wendy pointed down at my vomit.

"Cool!"

"And what's that?"

"I think it's part of a cheesy poof."

"And what's that?"

"A cookie, I think."

"What's that?"

"A piece of a banana." As they pointed out what was in the vomit, the camera moved away from the silhouettes, while Chef sings his signature song.

"And after that night, we became boyfriend and girlfriend"

"Love at first vomit… can't believe that's a figure of speech…"

"With that, we did a lot of things!" Present Wendy said "Stopping our teacher Mr. Garrison and his hand puppet from assassinating Kathie Lee Gifford, watched movies, I got turned into a Zombie, build a clubhouse, joined Stan and his gang's boyband"

"How did you join a boy band?"

"I was the best of the audition and I disguise as a boy"

"Oh…"

"But as time went on, I grew bored of Stan. He started to spend more time with his friends than me. I admit, I was jealous. But, Stan was just predictable. And a few weeks prior, I had gotten feelings for someone else…"

"Who?"

"I'll tell that later" Stan quickly said

"So… I decided to break up with Stan. But I didn't have the courage to tell him myself. So Bebe said she'd do it for me…"

"I was crushed" Stan said "I didn't understand why. Why had she broke up with me? I asked Kyle for help, he only said that she said she had wanted to break up for a while and it wasn't against me. I didn't understand a thing. So I asked Jimmy to tell her that she was a continuing source of inspiration to me-"

"Jimmy?" Micheal interrupted "Who's Jimmy?"

"The guy who's crippled and stutters" Wendy explained

"Oh, you mean the guy who makes terrible jokes, but everyone fake laughs to not be an ass" Everyone was quiet.

"I think… some of his jokes are funny. Like this Fishdicks Joke!" Stan said. Crow just looked at him.

"I'm not even gonna bother to ask about context"

"Past Me should have remembered that Jimmy stutters, but at the time, I was desperate. So when he tried to say "continuing", he stuttered"

"Making it sounds like Stan called me a cunt"

"I asked Bebe about what I should do. So I tried to use boombox that played a song by Peter Gabriel, in front of her house. Then In the window, I saw who Wendy was interested in"

"Who?"

"Token"

"Who's Token?" Stan and Wendy looked at each other, until Wendy answered

"The black kid in our class". Crow's lips and chins started to swell up, he was trying so hard to contain his laughter. But to no avail, he fell backward and laughed like a maniac. Stan and Wendy was looking at him angrily

"Th-The black guy steals the girlfriend! WHAT A FUCKING LEGEND!" The orange-colored spiky-haired boy said, while laughing uncontrollably, he went for a few minutes, until he sat up and rubbed his eyes, taking away his tears of laughter.

"So-sorry, This is the first time I've laughed in weeks!" He finally stopped chuckling. "Continue". Both noirettes sighed.

"I was heartbroken, I didn't understand anything at all. The guys tried to cheer me up by bringing me to the newly opened Raisins.

"Raisins?"

"Basically a strip club, but for boys"

"… I know what I'm doing this Saturday"

"But I didn't care about it. Then Kyle, jokingly, suggested I joined the Goth Kids, but I thought that was a real advice…"

"The Goth Kids?"

"The guys who smoke cigarettes all day"

"Oh, I thought they were Emo"

"There is a difference, but whatever. I spend over 3 weeks as a goth named Raven. Looking back, I'm embarrassed and hates how I was at the time. Mooping all day how the world sucks and about Wendy. But then one rainy day, I and the goths meet Butters crying at a sidewalk, he had found out his girlfriend wasn't his girlfriend. When we asked him to join us, he refused!"

"Wuh-ell yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that somethin' could make me feel that sad" Past Butters explained, sobbing "It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before"

"It made me realize that, I didn't know who I was anymore. And liking life was better than hating it to begin with. So I finally broke free from my depression. But there was one more thing I needed to do" W'ere at that scene now

"Wendy, you're a bitch" Past Stan told her, then he flipped off Token "Token, right here man"

"Nice"

"So I was spending my time with Token. He was everything I could have dreamed of. Nice, compassionate… but he was trying too hard. He always wanted to hang out with me alone, even when I was with friends. The final straw came when he insulted Stan"

"Wendy, he's not romantic. You have never kissed him before, he barfs on you whenever you try to kiss him, and he's a big sissy."

Past Wendy glared and crossed her arms. "Excuse me?"

"Stan isn't the right guy for you. He never spent a lot of time with you or anything."

"Well Token, it doesn't mean Stan is a sissy!"

"Well Wendy, he is kind of girly."

"What?! Stan is not girly! He is a man! You hear me!"

"Wow, Wendy, why does this matter? You're with me now."

Token kissed me, but I pushed him off. "Stop it! Stan hasn't spent a lot of time with me or kissed me, but you kiss me way too much! And you take me away from my friends!"

"Well...it's your choice, Wendy. You can hang with your friends, too."

"But you convince me that you're the best boyfriend. You try too hard. That's nice right, Token. At least Stan was nice and easy."

"But you don't like Stan anymore! You like me!"

"Not anymore Token. I break up."

"And then I walked away, leaving poor Token to his sadness. I have no idea what I just did. I couldn't believe it. I really thought Token was the best boyfriend. But why did I get so angry at him about Stan? I dumped Stan. And how he reacted to us, he didn't want me anymore"

"Days were like normal, until we found the girls list of the cutest boy. Somehow, Kyle was the lowest. So I decided to take action and ask Wendy for help"

"As we found out. The entire council had sabotaged the list to get Clyde at number 1, to get free shoes! We were able to stop Kyle before he burned down the school"

"Stan, it's been really great hanging out with you again. I feel like you've changed somehow. In a really awesome way" Past Wendy said to Past Stan, after they burned up the real list.

"Yeah well, I guess a lot of things... change, don't they?"

"Then…" Present Stan Started "We started to lean in for a kiss, I was close… but… like last time… I threw up" Past Stan vomited on Wendy.

"And with that, we became a pair again…" Wendy continued "And Stan started to stop vomiting! He went on weird stuff with his friends, but I wasn't jealous anymore. It was Stan's thing, and being in constant danger wasn't really my thing. Thought that mind controlling cow was weird…

(Twitter post/121506600459/wendy-why-dont-you-ever-hang-out-with-stan-i)"

"But then it was my turn to break up with Wendy…"

"How so?"

"I and the gang had created a start up company and we started to get hundreds of dollars. We got so wrapped up in it we told everyone to fuck themselves and I broke up with Wendy because "Chicks were going to rain"

"Jesus, did you say that?"

"I don't really remember saying it thought…"

"But after some trials and tribulation, they got us on their best side again, and we became a couple again. But I started to doubt our relationship again…"

"But I was able to prove her worries wrong when we went on a valentine's date!"

"Yeah! I even got to beat up Cartman a second time!)

(Read "Date Night" by Lord Candycane)

"But then… Skankhunt happened…"

"Skankhunt?"

"A Nutorious troll who was harassing everyone on a global scale"

"Oh yeah, I remember reading about him. He attacked a Jersey Forum by calling us "Retarded Cabbage Heads" I was so fucking pissed off by that shit head for calling us that!"

"What does Cabbage Head mean exactly? Kyle just said it's a Jersey Thing"

"Well it means…. It… means…. It's just a Jersey Thing"

Both Stan and Wendy rolled their eyes

"Anyways" Stan continued "Skankhunt had decided to target the girls on the school's forums. Calling them names and other things. It got so out of hand that Heidi Turner quit twitter. Me and the boys had to take action and destroyed all of Cartman's belongings. But the next day… we found out that Cartman WASN'T Skankhunt!"

"What? Seriously? That's the first person I thought of when you guys talked about him"

"Yeah, the one most hurt by that was Kyle. But that wasn't the worst part" Stan sighed

"Earlier, Nelly had said in the gym that Skankhunt's attack was a message from all the boys. When Heidi quit Twitter, I suggested that if they didn't stop the troll, there'd be consequences. I had hoped at the time that Stan would do anything, but when the trolling continued we… every girl in the school broke up with their boyfriends… even me.

In the hallway, boys are crying in corners, notes strewn and crumpled. Past Stan walks down the hallway, glancing at the boys before encountering Past Wendy. Past Wendy looks like she doesn't want to do this, but sighs and hands over a note. Past Stan hesitates for a moment, but took the note and opened it. All it said is:

"This is goodbye forever, Stan. I can't fix you. Wendy"

Past Stan looks up to Wendy, only for her to be gone…

"I was heartbroken" Present Stan said "But most of all, scared. I had no idea what to do again. At least I didn't go goth again…"

Stan started to tear up, Wendy put her hand on his shoulder.

"So how did you feel about the break-up?" Micheal asked Wendy. Wendy looked down at the floor sadden.

"At first…"

Past Wendy slamed the door to her room, she jumped up bed and sat there, angry.

"I didn't feel anything but anger. Mostly on the boys for not doing anything, on me for saying Skankhunt was speaking on behalf of all the boys, on Stan for not doing anything"

Past Wendy's face changed from angry to sadden.

"The more I thought of Stan…"

Her lips started to twitch, and tears started to form in her eyes.

"The more I realized what a fool I was. I broke up with him just to suck up to the girls, he hadn't done anything, and yet… I still did it… and realizing that…"

Past Wendy started to cry, screaming in pain. Not holding anything back.

"All of this was my fault! I hated every single minute of it, and I had to play along until the girls were satisfied…"

"Kyle told us if we showed up to support the girls at the volleyball match, it could heal the wounds. It started off pretty good… until…"

Past Butters pulls down his pants and underwear.

"Why the hell did he do that?"

"I don't know, he was protesting against the girls. And he had gotten the other guys doing it too. When he was having all the guys except me and Kyle doing a protest group. Then and there, I thought there was no other way than just join. All the guys were on Butters' side. Later Kyle joined too"

"But then the weirdest thing happened. Cartman and Heidi became a couple!"

"The Fat one and the girl with a flower hat?"

"Yeah!"/"Yeah!"

"They were able to get the entire school to work together to make a fundraiser for Denmark. But that failed because a group of trolls was able to troll Denmark off social media"

"But after the fundraiser, I started to think. If we were able to get this by working together, why were we so mean to each other? That's when I realized: This war was stupid! There was no real point anymore. It was just hatred and savagery. We were literally fighting on which kind of crouch were the better! I even tried to get advice from Bill Clinton and Cosby when they got to our school"

"Wait? Why were Bill Cosby and Bill Clinton in your school?" Crow Asked

"PC Principle wanted the war to stop so he hired them because of their Gentlemen's Club"

"Oh yeah! I remember watching a promotional video about that

Past Crow is watching a video on the computer. Clinton and Cosby are singing and dancing their theme song from "Oh, Jeez". Past Crow starts typing a comment. The comment reads out as

"This is so gay, get a room you two" Once he posts it, every other comment is the same thing, calling the two old men gay.

"Soooo… did you guys end the war?"

"Well, we had it for a long time, but eventually, it finally ended" Wendy explained. Stan nods

"Although it had to take Kyle to almost drown in a river for that…"

(Read "My Super Best Friend" by Lord Candycane)

"Many have been dating their exes, but… I and Wendy were still on uneasy terms. Until she visited me in the hospital when I was shot by a school shooter

Flashback to "School Shooting"

Wendy comes into Stan's hospital room

"Oh…" Is all he could say

"Oh? Didn't expect me to show up" Wendy asked

"I… were kinda excepting my parents to show up, I mean mostly mom as she was more concerned about my safety" Wendy hoped up a chair

"If you say so… be at least happy you're alive"

"Yeah, I wouldn't be if it weren't for Butters"

They both got silent…

"So…" Stan started "You wanna… talk?"

"About what?"

"About… our relationship"

"We decided to have a relationship counseling. We had broken up 3 times, and yet we came back the other times. We needed professional help"

"I was able to find a Dr. Hector, who specializes in all kinds of therapy. But we were not able to find a good time after the ManBearPig attack"

"The session… went like this… but we got more frustrated on one another. There was a lot of "He did this!" and "She did that!", until I finally said how I felt.

"I WAS WRONG!" Wendy from yesterday shouted "I did a mistake that I couldn't fix!" She started to tear up.

"I-I never wanted the mass break up, but I went with it anyway!"

"So why didn't you tell this to any of your girl friends, or at the start of this session?" Dr. Hector asked, very calmly.

"I was ashamed!" She cried. She sobbed tears from her eyes. Stan decided to comfort the girl by hugging her.

"So Stan?" Dr. Hector asked "Anything you'd like to at?" Stan looked at the crying girl. He was silent for a moment, when he finally asked.

"Wendy? Do you still love me?" Wendy looked at him with tears in her eyes. Then… she kissed him. On his lips. The boy was taken aback, but returned the kiss.

"We then came to the conclusion that... we were rushing things. We were rushing into a relationship without getting to know each other too well. So we decided to "Take it Slow"

"So you're just friends right now?" Micheal asked.

"Yeah…" Stan answered. "We're taking a break until we think we're ready to try another date"

"That's pretty much it, you got curious, and asked us for our story. Now you know"

"Huh…" Crow said and stood up "Well I'm more insight today, I guess…" He crossed his arm

"Yeah, with some thanks from Dr- Hector. Maybe you should go for a therapy session at him" Crow raised an eyebrow. "Why would I do that?"

"Well…"

Flashbacks to Stan seeing or hearing Micheal being angry about something. The first flashback is him ranting on Cartman for believing that racist stereotypes are the true identity to different races and beliefs, but Cartman just rebuttals by being a dick, pissing Crow off. Another one is when he learns about the Jersey Gene from Kyle, not believing it's real. Another one is about Micheal trying to get Theresa to duel him again, but constantly being rejected.

"… I'll think about it" Is all he could say and left the closet.

**Later that day**

**Dr. Hector's Office**

Micheal entered the office and lay down on the couch

"So… Mr. Hogan" Dr. Hector started "Tell me what's on your mind"

End.


	10. Buddha

Buddha

By: Pikamon Productions

"I hate this town…"

We continue from the last episode. Crow is laying on the couch of the office of Dr. Hector, a therapist.

"I've been here for like a month, and I'm baffled about this town's existence. First, there are school shooters everywhere, and nobody cares about it. I didn't until they started to distract me from focusing on the lessons. Then a talking shit tries to make a Christmas concert but keeps being an asshole, kindergartners start vaping, E-Scooters appeared out of nowhere and just a few days ago, a half bear half pig demon thing destroys the entire town! And this is for some reason "NORMAL" in this town! I looked up the town on google and. I'm baffled about what happened in this town. Giant monsters, crazy celebrities doing dumb shit, a monster with a guy for a leg. And all of these events are related to "The Main 4" as I decided to call them. The truth is… I'm confused about what to do. Should I get out of here, something I really can't because of money issues, or should I just be like everyone else and just roll with it. Everyone else has gotten used to it… what should I do?"

"Hm…" The doctor wondered "I believe you just need to focus on different things"

"Different what?"

"You know, play with friends? Outdoor activities, something to keep your mind occupied from your worries. What I'm saying is that you need to relax" Crow just looked at the doctor.

"What kind of doctor are you?" He jumped off the couch and walked out "You're no help! I want my money back!"

"You haven't even paid me yet"

"GOOD!"

**Waiting Room**

Crow slammed the door, he, however, stopped when he saw Cartman being at the secretaries desk. Cartman turned to Crow and both looked at each other

"Why are you here?" He asked the fat boy

"I have some stuff I need to talk about"

"Whatever, go in. I'm done" He walked away. Cartman just shrugged his shoulders and went into 's office.

**The Next Day**

**South Park Elementary**

It was a few minutes until first period, Crow closes his locker. He sighs and walks off, only to numb into someone.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" He said frustratedly but got confused when he noticed who he saw. It was Cartman, wearing a cardboard box on his head, but it has an antenna on its side and there's a "Do not Disturb" sticker on the front. Cartman was holding his phone, doing stuff on it. Crow knocked on the box. Cartman stopped what he was doing and raised the box.

"Oh hey, Crow was it?"

"What are you wearing?"

"A Buddha Box"

"… whatever, I'm not getting in your stupid shit" Crow walked away, but the fat boy got his attention when he asked

"What's wrong, Raven? You seem more angry than usual. Do you need any anxiety problems?" Micheal stopped. He sighed and turned back

"Well… I've been frustrated about the town and it's people for the past days and the therapist told me I need to-" He stopped when Cartman lowered back the box on his head. Crow growled in frustration, and went up to Cartman, knocking on the box again. Cartman stopped again and raised the box again.

"Oh hey, you're still here"

"You were going to get to a point?"

"Oh right. What If I told you, you can shut off all sounds and people around you and you could do anything at all, without anyone or anything distracting you"

"… go on"

**Two days Later**

**Inside a Buddha Box**

"BHA HAHAHAHAHAHA! That! Really happened in Arc-V? That's fucking hilarious! So glad I'm not watching modern Yu-Gi-Oh Anime! But wow, these Assault Blackwing cards are fucking great! I'm so ordering these!"

Outside the Buddha Box

Crow is standing in the middle of the fucking road. Cars crash into poles, walls or trashcans. Crow raises his box and shouts angrily "HEY! CAN YOU GUYS KEEP IT DOWN?! I'M TRYING TO RELAX!?" He lowered the box again. Cut to a small montage of people with Buddha Boxes. There are hundreds of them. Everyone with a box on their head, while holding and doing something on their phones. Walking in the middle of the now Buddha Boxed Red and Bebe, Wendy looks kinda sad.

"You know… remember when we used to talk?" She asked her friends, who clearly not listening "When we just sat down and talk about our problems, instead of just burying ourselves into our phones? I remember…"

They got to a crossroad and the light was red. Wendy stopped, but her friends didn't! Wendy quickly put an arm in front of her best friend, stopping her from walking, but she forgot her red-haired friend!

"RED! LOOK OUT!" She shouted at her. Red stopped and growled in frustration underneath the box. She turned around and raised the box

"What Ido you want, Wendy?" She asked frustrated "I'm trying to keep my anxiety in check! What is so important that you have to interrupt-" she was interrupted by getting run over by a truck! All that was left was a small pool of blood… Wendy was shocked and scared

"Oh My God! They Killed Red!" She looked at Bebe, who was still texting someone. Wendy sighed and pulled up her phone and texted someone. The someone was Bebe, who gasped underneath the box, she raised it and saw the pool of blood.

"You Bitches!" She exclaimed… then she lowered her box. Wendy just looked at her friend. She sighed in defeat, and walked away…

Park Bench

Clyde is swiping on his phone.

"And I'll pick you! And I'll pick you! And I'll pick you! And I'll pick you!"

Every time he said that a young girl with a Buddha Box on her head appeared. They all typed on their phones that they were at him now

"Hell… yeah?" Clyde's happiness faded as he raises his box, witnessing to his horror that all his Tinder hits came to him immediately!

"Oh-oh…" was all he could say

**Inside a Buddha Box**

Heidi Turner sighed in relief the inside screen was black.

"I need this…" she said happily. Outside the box, Heidi is sitting in a meditative position, off everyone with Buddha Boxes, she's the only one to use it was an actually "Budda" way. When suddenly, a soccer ball hit her. A little 5-year-old kid went to the girl, who was starting to shake a bit. It seems she's angry.

"Are you ok, miss?" The boy asked. Heidi stood up quickly and threw the box on the ground.

"WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!" She shouted at the kid, who I'm sure shat his pants "I'M TRYING TO FUCKING RELAX, THAT DOESN'T MEEN YOU SHOULD KICK A FUCKING BALL ON ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Heidi breathed in frustration, but that subdued when the kid started crying and run away

"No, wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I was just…" Heidi looked down and sighed "angry…"

**Sidewalk**

Kenny, Token, Kyle and Stan sat at the side of the sidewalk, all with their hands on their chins, they were bored and not happy about something.

"Room for one more?" A female voice asked, they all looked to their left and saw Wendy.

"It is a sidewalk" Kyle pointed out. Wendy shrugged her shoulders and sat next to Stan imitating the other boys.

Around them walked or sat people with Buddha Boxes, doing nothing but being on their phones.

"I can't believe this is our society now" Kyle said confused "Everyone wants to instead be on their phones than just having a normal conversation with each other"

"You really should have let Cartman be on his phone in peace" Token pointed out

"Yeah, but It's not my fault I wanted to fix things!"

"Reminds me of the photoshop craze" Wendy said "I wanted to prove a point, and it just lead to everyone photoshopping themselves hot and ridiculing me until I gave in. I just wanted people to see the psychological damages it gives"

"It's as if a cosmic force doesn't want people with good intentions to succeed" Kyle pointed out. Kenny then noticed a big cardboard box next to him. It was a very large Buddha Box. He pecked under it and saw both Craig and Tweek! Watching something on the phone. Kenny stopped looking. That's when Theresa came, pulling with Crow

"What are you doing? I'm trying to be on my phone!" He asked frustratedly

"You were standing in the middle of the road, you could have been killed!" She said also frustrated.

"I don't need you to babysit me!"

"Well, you pretty much proved you need that 24/7!"

"Whatever bitch!" Micheal lowered his box and started typing again. Wendy pulled up her phone and started to type something. Underneath the box a faint "Phone Destroyer!" was heard. Crow's phone exploded and he flew up in the sky, only to crash down, the box, now ruined, landed on his head. He looked up and his eyes were spinning around. The kids started to laugh at the misery of the jersey jerk. Crow face planted in the ground

"I hate this fucking town…" he said muffled. Craig and Tweek raised their box

"What the fuck was that?" Was all Craig asked

End.


	11. Amazon Box Forest and The Duel

Episode 10-11

So have you ever been so invested into a story you have a fun time writing about the plot lines and characters, but when you actually start writing it, you just lose interest? That's what happens to me, in a nutshell, all the time. I still want to tell this story and the next seasons I planned ahead, but It won't be in-depth. So here are the remaining episodes of season 1.

Amazon Box Forest

Bebe, Crow, Theresa and Tricia sneak into the Amazon Fulfillment Center to get their stuff. Bebe and Crow want items to the bike parade, Bebe wants toy horse parts to her bike, while Crow wants his bike. Theresa wants her Splatoon 2 themed Nintendo Switch, while Tricia wants her Gundam model kit.

They end up meeting Jeff Bezos who helps them, all because of customer pleasing…

At the parade, Stan and Kyle meet Theresa, who's there watching, when Crow arrives with his bike, which is designed after Yugioh Crow's D-Wheel "Black Bird", but he just taped on a bunch of cardboard boxes that's poorly painted. The only thing that's creatively made is the spring-loaded wings that fold out. Butters wins the competition, making Crow add a thing on his "Hitlist", which contains

Theresa

Pineapples

The Mail Man

The Duel

Our final episode of this season is at the Game Store, Theresa is playing Yu-gi-oh against Wendy, who is revealed to have the cards to begin with but never played as there aren't many players here in South Park, and Crow is an ass. Speaking of which, Crow is able to duel Theresa again, and this time: He has NextGen Blackwing cards like the Assault Blackwings! But even when he is able to make Theresa's life points very low, she wins the match with a Megamorph Equipped Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon.


End file.
